God and Colleges

When I left home for my current school, I knew that I was following God. I felt pulled; I had had personal revelations; I just knew that it was right. I followed where God led.

Now I do not feel God guiding me. I am left to choose a college on my own. This does not scare me; I can do just fine with it. It's just totally different from what I expected.

I need to remember, however, that everything works out with God in control. I have gone places simply because I wanted to and had my spiritual life irreversibly change for the better.

God's got me. I'm planning. We're good.

NEED GOD!!!

for some personal reasons, I need God. I need God. Right now. I am praying every moment I think of this issue. I need God. I need God. I need God.

הקול (HaKol) or The Voice

Tonight I am experiencing God as The Voice. God speaks through me via my actions, thoughts, etc.; yet I speak for Her and through Her also via my actions etc. (If you don't understand this it's fine; I don't either.) Also, Man is made from God's earth; Woman from His rib. If A implies B and B implies C, then we are physically part of God.

It feels cool to be a God-bit, doesn't it?

A Thought

This is a thought that occurred to me today:

Every person is given one name because s/he is human; a living creature is entitled to a name. But no matter how much a person creates or alters his/her name, s/he still only has one. Yet God is One with Many Faces; there are infinitely many names for God.

"Seek My Face, Speak My Name"

I am currently working my way through a book called Seek My Face, Speak my Name by Rabbi Arthur Green. As far as I can tell, it is a book entirely about the first line of the Shema prayer. (Most often translated "Hear O Israel, the LORD is God, the LORD is one.") It is divided into units corresponding to the four letters of the Unpronounceable Name. (Think Jehovah's Witnesses; Jews simply say "Adonai", meaning "My Master", when we hit this name while praying.)

As usual, this book is slightly above my level of comprehension. I believe that if one really wants to learn a subject--not just understand, but really learn--one must read books that are too hard in order to broaden one's horizons and open one's mind. Books should not be too hard, of course; that was my problem with a Lawrence Kushner book I read in Israel. But a little too hard is good.

Today I finished the introduction to Seek My Face, Speak My Name. There were two parts I particularly liked. One is where Green said that God is not a conclusion we make about where wonder comes from; God is the name we give to that wonder. Green also said that he wants to have a hand in shaping what will be considered tradition by those who come after it. I never found those words for this idea before, but in my opinion it is so true: tradition must be always changing or the whole system will collapse.

Random Threads of Thoughts on Judaism

The incident last night with the man who thought Jews didn't speak English caused me to realize, all over again, that I have made a conscious choice to live as an obvious Jew. It isn't really an inevitable choice, when you come to think of it. I don't have to wear a kippah in public. I don't have to wear a tallis, wrap tefillin (picture below), and say my morning prayers in an airport. I don't have to read Jewish philosophy on a plane, nor do I have to tell people I go to a Jewish high school. Being openly Jewish is a choice I made and one of which I am quite proud; I usually forget about it until something like last night gives me a metaphorical electric shock of awareness.

And speaking of metaphorical shocks of awareness...

Just now, I was moving my laundry from the washer to the dryer. This is a job I hate, so I was singing a song by Jewish singer and song writer Debbie Friedman. This particular song is based on the Torah portion "Lech L'cha" (ch is throat clearing noise), in which God tells Abraham to leave everything he knows and go to Israel. I've known the story for years; I've known the translation of the words "Lech L'cha" as well. Today, however, I had a complete epiphany.

Lech L'cha means go for you. God is telling Abrahm to leave everything he knows; yet His first words to Abraham are go for you. I am not quite sure how to interpret this yet, but right now I take it to mean that we can only grow into ourselves by following God.

*These are tefillin:

Weird Encounters with Others Part One

[See bottom of post for glossary.]

Tonight my friend "Mike" and I went to do some necessary shopping. While we were outside waiting for the shuttle back to campus, a man passed us, saying "SHA-LOM. SHA-LOM," very loudly and clearly. Shortly after this, we got cold and went inside.

About ten minutes later, the man and his wife walked out and began pacing back and forth. In the meantime, the shuttle arrived. Since they clearly didn't think we spoke English, I decided to have fun and called out "Shalom, mah nishmah?" except without the spaces between words.

At this point, the man said, "SHA-LOM. A-LEI-KEM. MY. GOOD. FRIEND. BE. CARE-FUL."

I kind of don't want to know what else he thinks about Jews.

Shalom: hello and good-bye. Literal translation: peace.

A-Lei-Kem: Actually aleikhem (kh is a clear your throat noise), meaning "on you" or "about you." (Eleikhem is "to you" or "for you".)

Mah Nishmah: How are you? or What's up?