SO EXCITED

On Shavuot (coming up in a week), we read the Torah portion that includes the Ten Commandments, and if all goes well I will be the one to chant them for our congregation! Cool. Very cool. Hooray!

My Need for God

First of all, I must admit that God sometimes takes a back burner in my life. Between schoolwork, relationships with friends and family, etc. I may be praying but I don't feel a thing. Spirituality takes work, and I don't always feel that I have the energy.

Until I spend a week feeling guiltily self centered and two days feeling extremely anxious, that is.

That's when I go and read Jewish philosophy, and then I feel better. I need God in my life.

Sidenote: Last Summer I was transported a couple of times to a beautiful world "above" this one. There were no differences, only variety, so everything was equally good...beautiful. For my own safety after experiencing the "culture shock" of coming back, I stopped going or allowing my self to go. Still, I miss that world a lot. It's not really the sort of feeling I can discuss with just anyone, so I sort of just carry my longing inside me. Who wouldn't yearn to go back?

God and PreCalc

This is something I wrote in my journal tonight in response to The Way into Encountering God in Judaism (Neil Gillman), which I am currently reading:

"God defies mathematics. Enough said. No graph in polar, function, or standard mode, in degrees or radians, could ever define God. God is no more or less a simple point that God is the fanciest rose or limacon graph, but God is in all of these things. God is within mathematics."

God defies our explanations, yet God is in our explanations...

Rambling

I should be going to bed but I'm posting here first to see wehther I can't come up with something good. I have been trying to connect to God again recently but it's hard with so much schoolwork on my radar. I believe connection to God is like a faucet: we turn it on or off by our beliefs and activities. Sadly, mine is but a trickle right now.

We are currently counting the Omer, the weeks between Pesah and Shavuot. Pesah celebrates the Exodus from Egypt; Shavuot celebrates receiving the Torah and Mt. Sinai. The Exodus and Sinai are both more metaphorical than literal for me, but I love this time of year and find these two holidays so meaningful. I love celebrating our Torah, the unifying document of Judaism, regardless of how we got it.

Just counted Day 33 of the Omer: only 16 more days to go!

I have no idea why I feel the need to talk to God on a public forum, or even what this will say. Here we go.

Dear God,

I'm tired. I messed up my med timing again last night.

Dear God,

I'm tired. It's been a long week.

Dear God,

I'm tired. I need time to catch up with "John".

Dear God,

It's "Lucy's" birthday tomorrow.

Dear God,

Why am I telling you this? You know it all already.

Dear God,

Thank You,

For this is my life.

Two Prayers I Wrote

Here are two prayers I wrote, the first for Grady and the second for Abby:

This is a prayer for Grady.
Grady is a two-year-old, Eastern European orphan with arthrogryposis.
He needs help. He needs a family. He needs modern medical knowledge. He needs prayer.
I will lift him up in prayer.
I am lifting Grady up in prayer and praying that
He may have a good night's sleep
He will get sunshine and fresh air
His family is coming soon.
Please, God.

This is a prayer for Abby. Abby has come too far to relapse now. She's been doing chemo for over two years now.
May it be Your will:
That Abby recover fully.
That her days are filled with light and fun.
That her parents and doctors will be wise and caring.
That her spirit will remain strong and her soul resilient.
That someday she will run and play.
Please, God.

Please Join Me in Praying for Abby Riggs

She is in danger of relapse.

riggsfamilyblog.com to learn more.