I Came, I Saw, I Conquered.

I woke up one day last week with the deep desire to pray with a minyan.  (A minyan is a prayer quorum of ten Jewish adults--Orthodox Jews will only count men.)  My problem was that I wanted to wear my tallis and tefillin, which in Orthodox circles are only worn by men, and the minyanim that meet daily on campus are both Orthodox.

But I didn't let that stop me.  I went to the Rabbi of the Orthodox minyan at Hillel and asked permission to pray with them wearing tallis and tefillin.  This morning I got an official yes! I was so excited, happy, and triumphant.

My experience this morning was an intimidating breath of fresh air.  Intimidating because I was the only one on the women's side of the divider (!) fumbling around in a prayer book with which I am not very familiar.  (I know Sim Shalom, the Conservative movement's prayer book, like the back of my hand; this one, however, was published by Artscroll, an Orthodox publishing company, and the layout is very different.)  The breath of fresh air part came because I am fed up with praying in my room, as if I have something to hide or of which to be ashamed.  It was so...nice to be with a community.

And you know what? Those guys really are community.  Several of them made a point of saying good morning to me afterward.

Veni vidi vici.  I came.  I saw.  I conquered.

Jew-Girl for the win!

Rosh Hodesh Adar II

Tonight begins Rosh Hodesh Adar II, the beginning of the month of second Adar.  This year we have two months of Adar because it is a leap year, and during a Jewish leap year we add an extra month.  This month we will be celebrating the very exciting holiday of Purim! The Purim story is full of intrigue, danger, suspense, and plot twists.  In my opinion, it is the most fantastic story anywhere on the Jewish calendar.  Fun fact: God is never mentioned in the Purim story, which is known as Megillat Esther.

The holiday of Purim is celebrated with costumes, feasting, public readings of the Purim story, and gifts of food to the poor and to friends.  I'm excited!

More Poetry

Here are three more poems.  Enjoy!

This Is For The Girl...
This is for the girl,
Screaming "Make it stop!"
Locked away inside,
Giving up all hope.

And this is for the girl,
Hiding in her bed,
Covering her face,
Cowering away.

"There will be hope one day,"
I want to tell that girl;
Yellow butterflies,
Flowers on the green.

"It goes away, you know,"
I want to tell that girl;
"You'll be OK again,
And peace will reign supreme."

This is for the girl.


A Tour
Straitjackets--
Medicine--
Psychoanalysis--
Nobody knows
How best to respond.

They don't get it,
Plain and simple.
I am trapped
In a horror movie.

This horror movie
Never ends;
The scenes continue
Day and night.

"Wake up! Wake up!"
I want to scream,
But that is useless too.

My endless rage--
My savage rage--
And nobody can help.

Welcome home.


Making a Poem (A Poet's Secret Recipe)
Making a poem
Takes courage
And fear.

One must fear the Unknown
Enough to explore it;
One must have the courage
To go.

THINGS will be turned up:
The volume,
The feelings;
One must have the courage
To stand.

One must fear the beauty:
The flowers,
The whistles.
Only fear of the beauty
Will do.

Making a poem takes love,
And effort;
Making a poem
Takes love.

"Ode to a Sorority Girl"

After a hiatus of several years' length, I have returned to writing poetry.  This one was written to thank a friend who has really pulled through for me recently.  It's nothing much, because I'm out of practice; however, it is heartfelt.  The title is "Ode to a Sorority Girl."

Ode to a Sorority Girl

Blonde, and tall, and pretty.
We have
Nothing in common.

She is pledging:
Mandatory Study Hours,
Meet the Sisters,
Etc.

I
Am fighting just to live.

But she is there for me,
Always,
Whenever I call.

Sorority Girl
Knows how to be a friend,
For real.

So in this Ode,
This Piece of Work,
I praise sororities
That turn out sisters
Such as this.

God bless Sororities,
And sisters,
And this Girl.

Life with a chronic condition...

...just plain sucks sometimes.  I was doing some "bipolar disorder maintenance" as I call it earlier tonight--that is, organizing Disability Services paperwork and copying over my medication list that I always carry because the old one is wearing out--and I came away with the feeling that life with bipolar disorder just plain sucks.  It's not true, of course; in many ways my life is beautiful.  What is true, however, is that being bipolar sucks.  There is no way around it.  And that, folks, well that is just sad.

Tonight I am sad.

Tu B'Shevat

Today is the festival of Tu b'Shevat, or the fifteenth day of the month of Shevat.  It is the New Year for the trees, the beginning of the cycle for agricultural laws in the Land of Israel.  I am planning to celebrate by having a "fruit fest" with a friend.  That is to say, I bought four unusual fruits (star fruit, persimmon, passion fruit, and pepino melon) and we are going to say two blessings (one for the fruit itself, the other for trying something new) and then enjoy them together.  I am excited.

After a long interlude...

...I am back! Sorry about the silence.  I stole this from someone else's blog; I needed the prompt today.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...The house next door

I am thinking...About the little "fruit fest" I am throwing later today to celebrate the holiday of Tu B'Shevat

I am thankful...for my Judaism

In the kitchen...packets of tuna, cans of chickpeas, and four different unusual fruits for my "fruit fest"!

I am wearing...Jeans, gray socks, a pale pink long-sleeved shit with a red college football T-shirt over it, arba kanfot, and a pink suede kippah from my Bat Mitzvah

I am creating...This blog entry

I am going...Back to school on the twentieth! (Actually, I'm already back in my apartment, but classes don't start till then.)

I am wondering...Whether or not my invited friend will show up to celebrate Tu b'Shevat with me.  (Really, I know she will because she didn't cancel, but I've been trying to call her to confirm because I'm like that and she hasn't picked up her phone, so now I'm nervous.)

I am reading...Doing Jewish Theology by Neil Gillman

I am hoping...That my friend shows up!

I am looking forward to...My Tu b'Shevat "fruit fest"!

I am learning...how to be a better friend

Around the house...silence; my roommates are not back yet.

I am pondering...The new semester and all it will bring

A favorite quote for today..."Out beyond right and wrong, there is a field; I'll meet you there."

One of my favorite things...It's not really a "thing", but I would have to say my Judaism! I love being Jewish!

A few plans for the rest of the week: Buying a couple more textbooks, finding my classroom buildings, sleeping in on a quiet Sabbath alone.