Hannukah Project

Today my material and thread for my Hannukah project arrived in the mail, and I settled down to my ten-minutes-an-evening crafting stretches.  Here are pictures from today:

This is a picture of the material as it came, uncut, with the matching thread lying on top.

And this is after tonight's crafting session.  The broad borders of the garment are cut, and the hem on one end is pinned.  In this picture you can see the ruler, and obviously some pins, as well as the fabric.

Yesterday

Yesterday's outfit and accessories were really more for myself than for anybody else...which turned out to be a good thing, because I don't think anyone else noticed!

Today is also Rosh Hodesh, and I go back to my Rosh Hodesh plans.  That means I am free to wear any jewelry I want...I think I'll wear the large cameo inteiited from mygrandmotherl

Rosh Hodesh Heshvan and Embracing my Incides

Today is Rosh Hodesh Heshvan, the start of the new Hebrew month of Heshvan.  Therefore, as per protocol for myself, I am wearing:

• A ladies' tallit katan
• Jewelry (in this case, a bracelet I made, with pink, purple, and black beads)
• A spritz of perfume
• my fancy bobby pins

Today is also a big--make that huge--day for me because I am deliberately going out into the world saying "I am Jewish, and female, and queer, and it is all OK."  I am doing that by wearing:

• A gay pride button in place of my usual star of David
• A gay pride kippah (which has double meaning: gay pride because it is rainbow and Jewish pride because it is a kippah)
• a pink skirt with purple shirt and tights

So I am acknowledging my femininity, my gay pride, and my Judaism.  I will let you know how today goes.

As Promised...

Today I had a really bad day emotionally, the kind of day about which I would like to curse up a storm, only that wouldn't be productive at all.  My day was going so badly that I decided I needed to do something nice for myself.  Immediately, I knew what that "something nice for myself" would be: rather than waiting until I had the fabric for the garment of my homemade tallit katan to order the  strings, I would order the strings today.

The first thing I did when I got online, after coming to this blog to reread the post I posted yesterday, was to put on one of my Youtube playlists--Yeshiva Boys' Choir, to be exact--in the background.  Then, just as I planned, I started comparison shopping for wool tziztit, because 24 dollars seemed like a ton of money to pay if I didn't have to.'

And, as it turned out, I didn't have to! I found a set of all sixteen strings for four dollars plus shipping! Even with shipping, I was only out ten dollars! Much nicer!

So.  I don't have any pictures to show you yet, but that is where I am with making my Hannukah gift.  Thought you might like to know.

Kippah Clips--In Style!

On Friday, I went shopping for kippah clips because I had lost all but one--that's one clip, not one pair.  I am always on the hunt for ways to make the "masculine" Jewish things I do a bit more "feminine," so when I went shopping for clips, I had that in mind.  Here are the results:

First of all, I did get a package of plain black clips--six pairs!--for days when I don't feel like being so feminine or for when the point is the kippah itself and I really need to draw attention to it.  With so many black clips, I will never run out.

Second of all, here are my Sabbath-holiday-Rosh Hodesh-and-other-special-occasion bobby pins.  I've had them for a while--like since last semester--but I don't believe I've ever shared a picture of them before.

And lastly, here are my every day feminine clips, minus the purple pair which are on my head right now.  I think having these will be fun!

My Hannukah Gift to Myself

This year for Hannukah I am taking a new turn: I am making my gift for myself! I would like to make myself a tallit katan, the holy undergarment with fringes.  My father is fabric shopping for me and I will use the remainder of the budget to buy the strings.

My tallit katan that I am going to make is going to be purple, and flowered.  I want to use wool strings because you are always allowed to put wool or whatever material you used for the body--but the thing is, I don't know what I sew with.

I will post pictures of every step of the process.

Indices of Me

WORD OF WARNING: In this post, I am choosing to make myself very vulnerable because I value showing readers the real me.  If I get nasty comments, not only will I not post them, I will take down this post entirely as well.  You have been warned.

I am bisexual, therefore queer.  I am also observant-Jewish, disabled, and feminine.  In my Lesbians/Gay Men and Society Class, I am fairly sure I am the only one bringing all three of those identity indices to the table of queer identity.

Has it been hard? Yes, it's been damn hard, and it continues to be hard every. single. day.

It is HARD to "tremble before God" (there's a documentary of that title about Ultra-Orthodox, homosexual Jews, and I find that's the best way to put it) knowing that Judaism as a system, if not the Jews I know in particular, disapproves of the choices I may one day make.

It is HARD to know that my two chronic conditions make me less attractive on the dating market. There are no two ways about it; they do.  People don't want to date someone who's "broken," certainly not at my age.

My femininity, on the other hand, I count as an advantage.  We've been talking a lot in class about "passing," both "passing" when/because you can and "passing" when/because you have to.  Either way, I can "pass" as straight with very little extra effort as to wardrobe, mannerisms, etc. and that is a distinct advantage--it shouldn't be, but it is.

So I guess in the end it's a mixed bag.  I have issues that make me less attractive on the dating scene, but I can "pass" as straight more easily.  And the religion thing? I can only hope it will sort itself out with time.  With God's help, and with time.