Me With My BOYFRIEND!

Below is a picture of me with my BOYFRIEND! How I love to say that word.  He came over last night, and we hung out together...and took a picture for the blog, of course.  Anyway, see below.

Even More Special

So I have thought, and thought, and thought about exactly what to say in this post and how to word it. I decided it was best to just sit down with my laptop and write whatever spilled out.  I certainly don't want to wait until the news goes stale; that would spoil everything.

I AM OFFICIALLY DATING SOMEONE! His name is Shepard.  I met him at the bisexuals group. And--wait for it--he's Jewish.  Really.

We don't match up religiously, but you know what? That's OK.  I am never going to find a person with whom I match up 100 percent on everything.

I am madly crushing on him, and obsessing over him in between contact moments.  We had last night together at the meeting and dinner after; we were texting last night; we talked this morning for forty minutes.  We have another call scheduled for my birthday (six days away), another after that for the Saturday I am in Massachusetts again (five days later), and he is coming over to my apartment the weekend after that.  I think that's a good amount of contact: it gives us time to do other things in between, such as work (for him) and school (for me).  On my own time, in between contact, I can think about him as much as I want.

I am over the moon.  This is good.

Really, Really Special

My (Hebrew) birthday is coming up in exactly a week, and it is going to be really, really special. First, for dinner the night before (because Jewish days really begin the evening before), I am going to have sushi.  Second, as my birthday gift this year, I am getting a bisexual pride kippah: a celebration of who I am, in all the complexities that God created me.

Third, most importantly, I have reached my current tzedakah donation goal, and I will take the money to the bank  on my birthday! "Tzedakah" is usually translated "charity," but that doesn't quite do justice to the Hebrew, which carries with it a sense of justice and obligation.  I got a tzedakah box (box in which to collect tzedakah) as a super-early Hannukah gift in September 2015.

When I started collecting tzedakah, I knew I couldn't possibly donate to every organization out there. I picked three, between which I would rotate: Lev Lalev, Reece's Rainbow, and Heifer International.  Lev Lalev is a girls' orphanage in Israel; they are Orthodox-run, and I disapprove, but they have a million causes to which one can donate individually and I don't have to support the religious ones.  My first box of money, $43.01, went to their mental health fund, to treat their girls with PTSD; my fourth box of money, the next one I fill, will go to their higher education fund.  I made a donation to Reece's Rainbow recently, meaning I am now up to Heifer International, who give farm animals to needy families around the world.

Heifer International was also the first charitable organization I ever knew existed; I found out about them when I was roughly seven or eight years old.  That means I've wanted to donate to them for 16 or 17 years.  This time around, I decided to give honeybees, one of their cheaper animals, for 30 dollars.

Why am I waiting to go on my birthday, instead of going to the bank today? First, I am in pain and exhausted; tonight is a bisexuals group night, and I want to save my energy.  Second, I'm not sure my birthday gift will come by my birthday, and I want to have something special to do if it doesn't. Third, I only get to make a tzedakah donation two to three times per calendar year; I want to savor the anticipation.

School Update

I have finally found the words to write this post.  In and of itself, that was a challenge.  I did not want to appear as if I were bragging/boasting about my coping skills.  At the same time, I did not want to appear as if I were complaining/venting about my health.

I started school two days ago, on the Tuesday of this week.  That was a challenge because I am in the middle of a serious RSD wave.  I spent the first school evening--and I had two classes, so I was in school for about five hours--at a seven, maybe an eight, out of ten on a pain scale.  That is hard to do gracefully.

And yet, I think I managed very well.  I talked about my pain when it was necessary to explain something, going with the plan that if I was confident and OK with my situation, other people would be, too.  Obviously, that doesn't work in a professional setting--when doing fieldwork or student teaching I intend to hide this completely--but in the classroom it is different.  Besides, once I can't take notes on my own, or do stairs, this is pretty obvious.

I had an interesting moment when I was talking with the young woman who signed up to be my note taker for my first Tuesday class, Language and Literacy.  (The Office of AccessABILITY--yes, it is really capitalized like that--found me a professional note taker for my other two classes, but we had to go with plan B for that third one.)  We were getting to know each other in the way students do, and she asked if I was a full time student (a fairly typical question).  I answered honestly, that no, I wasn't. She asked what I did with the rest of my time (also a fairly typical question).  I thought about various ways I could answer, but I felt like just being honest again.  So I said "The rest of the time I be disabled; being disabled takes up a lot of time."

Finally, I am so proud of my homework strategy, so I need to put that in here, too.  It is so simple, but for someone in pain, it works.  The strategy is start in the morning as soon as I finish my morning routine (eye exercises, medication, PT, clothes, organize/straighten up room, Judaica, breakfast somewhere in there) and just plow through until the work is done.  However bad I'm feeling physically w hen I get done dictates what I do with the rest of my time until I go to school again. Yesterday, that meant I read for five hours straight, and then had the rest of the day yesterday and most of today free.  It won't always be that easy--I can look ahead at each syllabus and see that even starting next week it will be tougher--but for now I am enjoying the down time.

So I can do this, I really can.  I can handle school, and growing, and learning, no matter how much pain I am in.  I think that's pretty amazing, if I do say so myself. 

Disabled Person Goes to School

It's roughly a quarter to four in the morning, so I don't know whether I can write anything intelligent or even legible, but for some reason I need to try right now.

This semester, which starts in four days, I am starting school disabled.  Due to pain, there is absolutely no way I can take my own notes.  I will have note takers doing it for me.

It's amazing (in a bad way) the sense of control that flies out the window when one has to rely on someone else's notes.  On the other hand, it's amazing (in a good way) the sense of reassurance one gains when people are willing to work with/around one, as I am experiencing now.  I have lovely professors and a wonderful note taker for two of my classes.

Life is OK after all.

Tu B'Shevat 5777

The holiday of Tu B'Shevat always comes two days before my Hebrew birthday.  (Remember that my Hebrew birthday is the one I prefer to acknowledge/celebrate now.)  "Tu B'Shevat" literally means the fifteenth of the month of Shevat; my Hebrew birthday is the seventeenth of the month of Shevat.

Because Tu B'Shevat is so close to my birthday, this year I really want to celebrate it.

Tu B'Shevat is a new year for trees.  Some people go all out and do a seder similar to what we do on Passover; to me, that is too much hassle and effort.  A simpler celebration involves eating at least two fruits that one has not eaten in at least a year.

For me, one of those fruits is obviously figs.  I love figs, and I rarely have them.  For the other fruit, well, I'll have to see what the store has.  Pomegranates tend to be a popular option; I myself particularly like starfruit, so we'll have to see.

Anyway.  Tu B'Shevat, here I come, on February 11th.  And then, my birthday, here I come, on February 13th.

Amazing

Months ago, I asked my friend Katherine, who is good at crocheting, if she had ever thought about making a kippah.  I honestly wasn't hinting at anything; I was just curious.  She responded that she hadn't--and then decided she was going to learn eight different patterns, and make me eight, each in a different pattern, as a Hannukah present.

Below are pictures of what she made.  I photographed them smallest to largest, and then did a group shot at the end.  I will let the photos speak for themselves.  The only thing I will add is that photo number six shows a white one.  This is very useful, because now I have a special one to wear to services Yom Kippur day.