"Plan B"

For years, years and years, like fifteen years, I cherished "Plan A" for the family I would one day raise: four healthy, biological children.

In recent years, God has shown me that my "Plan A" is not God's "Plan A" by closing the door on biological children.

"Plan B"--adoption of a child with Down Syndrome and possibly other, neurologically typical children--can be just as beautiful and just as meaningful, but I haven't gotten used to it yet.  I'm still grieving.

Because this is "Plan B," and going with "Plan B" can be rough.

But you know what? God is leading.  God has me by the hand.  God will watch out for me, and catch me when I stumble.  This I know.

I believe that God has this, yet I am still grieving.  That paradox is where I am tonight.

And here is "Jacob" again: