IT CAME!!!

Finally, finally, finally, my college graduation gift of which I have been dreaming for almost a year is here! The main part, the candelabrum, arrived just in time for me to light my Sabbath candles in it Friday night.  I can never take a picture of it with candles lit, because photography is not allowed on the Sabbath/holidays, but I did snap this photo Saturday night, after the Sabbath, before I took down my candle set up.  You can see that this week, I used my new, pink-and-yellow runner.

I must admit that as I stared at this arrangement Saturday, I felt a twinge of sadness and longing for the children I will never have and raise.  Giving up on having children is the right decision for a number of reasons: it is not just that Shepard doesn't want them and I'm giving in to him.  However, I have dreamed of being a mother since forever.  As sad as I was over not having biological kids, that's how sad I am now over not having kids at all.  I'll adjust eventually, but right now I'm sad.