"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Reece's Rainbow

Another prayer project...check out mybipolarteenagelife.blogspot.com for more details.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Catching Up

I know I haven't posted here for a very long time. See, almost immediately after I found out I was lesbian, I realized that the traditional Jewish system didn't want me. I couldn't quite fathom getting close to God through a system that didn't accept me, and I pushed myself away. I still kept kosher and observed Shabbat, and I went to services and led and read Torah for the sake of the community, but that was it.

It was my father who pulled me back during a conversation that lasted well over an hour. In a nutshell, he told me that I should think of God as a loving Mother who wanted to hold me. He reminded me that Judaism is a path, with God as the goal, so when you have to cut out on eor the other, it's OK to remove part of Judaism. He told me about the egalitarian (men and women totally equal) minyan (congregation) he started in college; his group decided they didn't need official backing because they needed this right now. He compared certain parts of the Jewish legal code, which we both believe was created by people (and people can be wrong or ignorant) to the Jim Crowe laws and asked if I would have considered myself honor bound to uphold those.

I wanted to come back to Judaism, but I didn't know how. My father suggested I start by saying my own prayers every night in bed. So I did. I didn't feel anything, but I chatted a bit, prayed for people who needed it, and ended with the traditional bedtime Shema. Suddenly I realized that this was habit, and I added my next step: afternoon prayers on Shabbat. I want my Judaism back: I want it, I want it, I want it. I can feel the need for it again!

(Oh, and my bipolar symptoms mysteriously disappeared just in time for Shabbat and Purim. Miracle much?)


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About Me

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!