"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Hebrew Birthday (Happy Birthday, Me!)

Today is my Hebrew birthday, the one I now acknowledge and celebrate.  The Hebrew date is the seventeenth of the month of Shevat.  The date moves around the English calendar, because the Hebrew calendar is lunar; next year, for example, my birthday will fall on February thirteenth.

Because Jewish days start the night before, I opened my birthday gift last night.  This year, I got a Vermont Teddy Beat misfit bear (four colors of brown plush on one bear, and allegedly each bear unique), which I have been wanting for years.  Her name is Theodora, so she can go by Teddy, and her middle name is Ketamine, because of all the good that that treatment did for me.

And now I am a whole year older! Goodness gracious, I don't feel 23!

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

"A Miracle Happened Today; Was I Aware? Did I Even Care?"

(Title quotation from an addictive Jewish song I like.)

Now.  My miracle story:

Recently I went for a two-week Ketamine treatment at Rutgers University hospital in Newark, NJ, to help solve my RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, a chronic pain syndrome affecting the nervous system).  Ketamine is a big-deal pain killer, with big-deal side effects, delivered intravenously.  Side effects can include psychosis; and yes, I experienced that and dealt with it.

But.  But.  But.

My pain is SO MUCH LESS.  I now stay in single-digit numbers  ALL THE TIME.  Also, the pain is localized again; the ONLY areas that EVER hurt now are my feet and my hands.

Wow.  Wow.  WOW.

Thank you to God first, my doctor second, and the medication third.

Thank you.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Big Adventure

Today I leave for the city and my Ketamine treatment at a hospital in Newark, NJ.  My father is taking me because the procedure is outpatient, but involves sedation, so I need someone to bring me back and forth.  I'm due at the hospital at 7:00 am tomorrow, and the infusion starts at 8:00 am.  It takes an hour to get ready because the medicine is made just for each patient and the pharmacists cannot make it until the patient is in the building.  Two weeks from now, and I should be feeling much better...I can hardly wait, and I'll hold on to that vision through the hard times.


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About Me

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!