"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Most Important

Today as I was scrolling back through this blog while doing physical therapy (multitasking is a wonderful thing), I realized I had never shared a photo of my wonderful birthday gift bisexual pride kippah! I am so pleased, proud, and excited to have this kippah in my collection--it is quite possibly my most important one right now.  I photographed it on my special rocking chair that I save for doing Jewish things, because it is a Jewish thing and because its colors match the chair cushion so well. This was an expensive kippah--at thirty dollars plus shipping it is quite possibly my second most expensive in the whole collection, or at least tied with the gay pride kippah for that position--but to me it was worth every penny, because now I can accurately express my complex identity.  Anyway, here it is: see below.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Documenting a Wardrobe: Part Five: The Others

Finally we have come to the end of this series.  This is a catch-all post, for the three skirts that do not fit in any of the other four categories.  Each one is unique.

I call this skirt the "modesty trainer."  This is because it is so tight it forces small, ladylike steps and controls how one sits.  I bought it to go with undergrad university t-shirts, which are red.

This is another one from myculottes.com.  It is exactly the same as the long denim, the long brown, the multicolored floral, and the long pink; except that it is kid-sized, not adult-sized.  It therefore hangs roughly to my mid calf, and is snug.  I mended part of one of its side seams myself, by hand.

And this one is the "not quite denim!" I call it that because it looks denim, but is actually soft cotton.  I added the purple patch myself to cover a hole I made when I fell rollerblading.

Documenting a Wardrobe: Part Four: The Skorts

Skorts are my absolute, favorite thing to wear, and I am so glad the weather is warm enough for them again! Mine come from a very Christian clothing site, myculottes.com.  They are incredibly modest, with the undershorts hanging almost to the hem of the over skirt;a nd super comfortable and practical, with elastic waistbands.  I have two right now, one gray and one teal, and just today ordered a third in a pink print.

This is the gray one, which I got first.  I have flipped up the hem of the skirt so you can see the undershorts.  They are black, and not gray, because the maker did not possess any undershorts fabric in gray.

And this is the teal one.  Again, hem flipped up so undershorts show.  Here the undershorts are the same color as the over skirt.

Documenting a Wardrobe: Part Three: The Short Stretchies

This post will show you two skirts that, for lack of a better term, I have named the "short stretchies."  They are exactly the same, except that one is pink and one is blue.  I bought them both at Covered Girl Clothing, for 25 dollars each.

This is the short coral pink, sometimes just termed the short pink (as opposed to the long pink; see part two of this series).  I got it on my first trip ever to Covered Girl, when I wanted "something pink and something denim."  (I also got my short denim--see part one of this series--on that trip.)  It is lightweight and breezy and perfect for Spring.

And this is the short royal blue.  This one has quite the story.  As soon as I walked out of the store with the short pink and the short denim, I wanted this one.  For a variety of reasons I can't remember, I did not go back and get it that day.  When I was going back to the store a few months later for Winter skirts, I promised myself that if I came in enough under budget and they still had these, I would finally get this one.  I came in enough under budget by one dollar.  I saw a rack of these skirts, but I did not see this blue.  I did see a brown I liked, so I grabbed that.  When I brought my pile to be rung up, the lady noticed my brown one and said, "Medium? We have this in lots of colors..." and so I got my blue skirt at last.  Isn't it pretty?

Documenting a Wardrobe: Part Two: The Long Miscellaneous

So even though I meant to do one of these a day, I had the extra time right now, and they are so much fun, I decided to do a second one.  In this post, I will be showing you my three "long miscellaneous" skirts.  In other words, they are long and not denim.  All three come from myculottes.com and are 33 inches long, hanging almost to my ankle.

This is my long brown skirt, in fact my only brown skirt.  I love brown--sometimes I think it's my second favorite color, sometimes my third, but it's definitely up there--but I really don't look good in it because of my skin tone.  However, skirts do not go next to faces, so in skirts I can get away with it.  I got this skirt in my first round of skirts, right when I started wearing them full time.

And this is my multicolored floral skirt, also bought in that first round! This one is a lot of fun to wear because it is my most colorful clothing item.  It does take a bit of creativity to  find shirts that do not clash with the many colors in the print.  I consider this skirt to be a set with my gay pride kippah, because they are both rainbow.  I do wear the kippah with other skirts, but I never wear this skirt with other kippot.

Finally, this is my long pink print, sometimes just referred to as the long pink (as opposed to the short pink).  I got this one in Fall 2014, a few months after I started wearing skirts full time.  It's a little hard to see the print in this photo, but it is tiny vines and leaves in slightly lighter and slightly darker pink.  I am going through a pink phase right now, and this is one of my favorite skirts to wear.

Documenting a Wardrobe: Part One: The Denims

Many times on this blog, I have shared my entire kippah collection.  Now I have decided to share something else: my skirts/skorts.  I honestly don't know how many of you will be interested, but this is my blog.  I can do this if I want.

Each post--there will be five--will have two to three pictures.  This one has three.  Most of my skirts/skorts have stories, which I will be sure to tell.  In this post, I am showing off my denims: the short, the medium, and the long.

In this picture, you see my short denim, which hangs to just below my knees.  It is one of my three shortest skirts that I own, the other being my "short stretchies" as I call them.  Anyway, I got this skirt on my first trip to Covered Girl Clothing, an Orthodox Jewish clothing store about a half hour walk from my university.  I walked into the store that day having no idea what I would find, but with a budget of 100 dollars for "something pink and something denim."  I walked out that day with this as my denim; it cost me 40 dollars.  It zips up the back, and has pockets made of sky blue floral material.

This is my medium denim, also from Covered Girl Clothing.  I got this on my third and final trip there, as a sort of graduation present to myself.  I had gone back partially to get one last skirt, and partially to say good-bye to the lady who runs the store, with whom I had had some deep conversations as I shopped.  She wasn't there that day (her husband was there instead), but I walked out with this nice skirt.  This one also cost me about 40 dollars.  It was my third choice out of the three I tried on, but it was the one that fit best.  This one is about four to five inches longer than the short one.

And this is my long denim! This one came from myculottes.com, a very Christian website committed to  making modest clothing for women.  I actually have six things from them, soon to be seven.  (Today actually, I am ordering a pink print skort as my "just because" spring/summer item from them.  I am super excited.)  I actually got my first long denim when I was first getting into skirts only, two summers ago.  This one is a replacement, as that one got lost in one of my many moves.  This one is very long; I like to get my myculottes.com skirts and skorts as long as I can without adding extra cost.  That means I get my skorts 27 inches long, and skirts 33 inches long.  So this one hangs almost to my ankles.  I love these skirts (and skorts even more so) because I have full range of motion and position--such as sitting cross legged--and can still be modest.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Valentine's Day Gifts from Boyfriend

This past Valentine's Day, I had the super exciting experience of opening a gift that was not from my parents for the very first time.  Shepard totally spoils me; he got me what are quite possibly the two most sensitive and loving gifts I have ever received.

First of all, he got me KIPPAH CLIPS! Aren't they beautiful? I have been wearing them as often as I can; the purple pair (far right in this picture) is on my head right now.

Secondly, he got me GLOVES! These are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the most grown-up, ladylike gloves I have ever owned.  They are made of fleece, with a super-soft faux fur lining.  I love the fancy little buttons, which I haven't dared unbutton yet.


Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Another Picture: Boyfriend and Me

Shepard and I meant to take lots of pictures when we went out yesterday, and still more when we came back...yeah, somehow that didn't happen.  We did manage to snap one, which I am posting below; enjoy it.  The pose was my idea.

Friday, February 10, 2017


Below is a picture of me with my BOYFRIEND! How I love to say that word.  He came over last night, and we hung out together...and took a picture for the blog, of course.  Anyway, see below.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Even More Special

So I have thought, and thought, and thought about exactly what to say in this post and how to word it. I decided it was best to just sit down with my laptop and write whatever spilled out.  I certainly don't want to wait until the news goes stale; that would spoil everything.

I AM OFFICIALLY DATING SOMEONE! His name is Shepard.  I met him at the bisexuals group. And--wait for it--he's Jewish.  Really.

We don't match up religiously, but you know what? That's OK.  I am never going to find a person with whom I match up 100 percent on everything.

I am madly crushing on him, and obsessing over him in between contact moments.  We had last night together at the meeting and dinner after; we were texting last night; we talked this morning for forty minutes.  We have another call scheduled for my birthday (six days away), another after that for the Saturday I am in Massachusetts again (five days later), and he is coming over to my apartment the weekend after that.  I think that's a good amount of contact: it gives us time to do other things in between, such as work (for him) and school (for me).  On my own time, in between contact, I can think about him as much as I want.

I am over the moon.  This is good.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Really, Really Special

My (Hebrew) birthday is coming up in exactly a week, and it is going to be really, really special. First, for dinner the night before (because Jewish days really begin the evening before), I am going to have sushi.  Second, as my birthday gift this year, I am getting a bisexual pride kippah: a celebration of who I am, in all the complexities that God created me.

Third, most importantly, I have reached my current tzedakah donation goal, and I will take the money to the bank  on my birthday! "Tzedakah" is usually translated "charity," but that doesn't quite do justice to the Hebrew, which carries with it a sense of justice and obligation.  I got a tzedakah box (box in which to collect tzedakah) as a super-early Hannukah gift in September 2015.

When I started collecting tzedakah, I knew I couldn't possibly donate to every organization out there. I picked three, between which I would rotate: Lev Lalev, Reece's Rainbow, and Heifer International.  Lev Lalev is a girls' orphanage in Israel; they are Orthodox-run, and I disapprove, but they have a million causes to which one can donate individually and I don't have to support the religious ones.  My first box of money, $43.01, went to their mental health fund, to treat their girls with PTSD; my fourth box of money, the next one I fill, will go to their higher education fund.  I made a donation to Reece's Rainbow recently, meaning I am now up to Heifer International, who give farm animals to needy families around the world.

Heifer International was also the first charitable organization I ever knew existed; I found out about them when I was roughly seven or eight years old.  That means I've wanted to donate to them for 16 or 17 years.  This time around, I decided to give honeybees, one of their cheaper animals, for 30 dollars.

Why am I waiting to go on my birthday, instead of going to the bank today? First, I am in pain and exhausted; tonight is a bisexuals group night, and I want to save my energy.  Second, I'm not sure my birthday gift will come by my birthday, and I want to have something special to do if it doesn't. Third, I only get to make a tzedakah donation two to three times per calendar year; I want to savor the anticipation.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

School Update

I have finally found the words to write this post.  In and of itself, that was a challenge.  I did not want to appear as if I were bragging/boasting about my coping skills.  At the same time, I did not want to appear as if I were complaining/venting about my health.

I started school two days ago, on the Tuesday of this week.  That was a challenge because I am in the middle of a serious RSD wave.  I spent the first school evening--and I had two classes, so I was in school for about five hours--at a seven, maybe an eight, out of ten on a pain scale.  That is hard to do gracefully.

And yet, I think I managed very well.  I talked about my pain when it was necessary to explain something, going with the plan that if I was confident and OK with my situation, other people would be, too.  Obviously, that doesn't work in a professional setting--when doing fieldwork or student teaching I intend to hide this completely--but in the classroom it is different.  Besides, once I can't take notes on my own, or do stairs, this is pretty obvious.

I had an interesting moment when I was talking with the young woman who signed up to be my note taker for my first Tuesday class, Language and Literacy.  (The Office of AccessABILITY--yes, it is really capitalized like that--found me a professional note taker for my other two classes, but we had to go with plan B for that third one.)  We were getting to know each other in the way students do, and she asked if I was a full time student (a fairly typical question).  I answered honestly, that no, I wasn't. She asked what I did with the rest of my time (also a fairly typical question).  I thought about various ways I could answer, but I felt like just being honest again.  So I said "The rest of the time I be disabled; being disabled takes up a lot of time."

Finally, I am so proud of my homework strategy, so I need to put that in here, too.  It is so simple, but for someone in pain, it works.  The strategy is start in the morning as soon as I finish my morning routine (eye exercises, medication, PT, clothes, organize/straighten up room, Judaica, breakfast somewhere in there) and just plow through until the work is done.  However bad I'm feeling physically w hen I get done dictates what I do with the rest of my time until I go to school again. Yesterday, that meant I read for five hours straight, and then had the rest of the day yesterday and most of today free.  It won't always be that easy--I can look ahead at each syllabus and see that even starting next week it will be tougher--but for now I am enjoying the down time.

So I can do this, I really can.  I can handle school, and growing, and learning, no matter how much pain I am in.  I think that's pretty amazing, if I do say so myself. 


Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!