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"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

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Monday, August 23, 2010

U'N'Taneh Tokef

On Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur the Day of Atonement, a particular poem is read that is very special to me.

U'N'Taneh Tokef discusses the holiness of the day: how we are but dust specks who pass before God like sheep before a shepherd. God counts each one of us according to his/her merits and sins, and no one can escape.

The poem goes on to talk about all the possible fates a person can have: to live or die; to die young or old; to die by fire, water, wild beast, or sword; and many others. Then the poem proclaims "And repentance, prayer, and charity avert the evil decree."

This poem, as I mentioned above, holds special meaning for me.

Every year I pray for my health, and every year I get farther away.

I accept God's verdict, but I do not understand it.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!