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"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Reflections

I am loving praying each evening, even though I am having trouble concentrating because I am out of practice. It just feels so nice to be really talking to God again, in the way that my people have for generations.

I would love to have vsions again but I'm not sure that's going to happen. The visions I had in the past preceded medications for bipolar disorder. I have no doubt that those experiences were real--that's not in doubt at all--but I do believe that the same creativity and imagination that allowed me to vision may be somewhat muted by my mood stabilizers and anti psychotics. That is absolutely not a reason to go off my meds, and maybe I'm wrong and I will have visions agan someday. Regardless, I know plenty of people who have relationships with God without any visions or "supernatural" stuff at all.

I am a Jew, and I am proud. I just need to say that right now.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!