"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

As Promised: Sorcery, Blessings, and Out of This World

OK. Here we go, as promised last night:

I have seen too much in this world and others to not believe in sorcery. In fact, I have friends whom I believe are hayyev mitah (liable for the death penalty) by Torah standards because of sorcery. In my experience sorcery exists. It is real. One can participate in it if one chooses. Because the Torah so strongly forbids it, however, I will never engage in it. I absolutely refuse, just as I refuse to eat nonkosher food or break Shabbat. It just won't happen. My belief in sorcery does, however, add spice to my life in that I have to think about the fact that I am avoiding it. Very interesting.

Blessings and Curses:
Along the same lines, I believe that blessings and curses, if given with true intent and focus, have tremendous power regardless of who gives them. I believe that negative wishes, especially if spoken aloud, really can harm people. I have never given a curse, and I certainly do not plan on it. God can (and does in the Torah) curse because God is God (enough said), but I should not.

I have given a true blessing exactly three times in my life. The first was to a man I met in an airport when we were both stuck there overnight. He and I talked religion for five hours straight, and at the end, I gave him my blessing. I don't remember whether he rquested or I offerred, but the end result was the same.

My second blessing was given to my director on my trip in Kansas. She was pregnant and I strongly desired to bless the unborn baby. I asked her if I could; she was delighted, so of course I did.

My third blessing was given to a good friend of mine (not even a fake name here, to really protect this person's privacy) in JFK airport on our class trip to Israel. I had wanted to bless this friend for a long time, and finally I just pulled the friend aside and did it. I will not share contents of any of the above blessings; they are too sacred for that.

Other Worlds:
At one point during the Summer before Junior year I could literally leave this world. I would go and sit by a stream and concentrate all five senses on the water, and soon my soul would leave my body and rise up to be with God. Let me tell you, the "God world" is absolutely beautiful. There are no value judgments, so there is no concept of bad and no such thing as differences. That world is full of swirling patches of color, and...just...goodness. I made myself stop going there because the culture shock of coming back to this world was too much. I have since forgotten and/or lost the ability to connect with that world, but oh, how I yearn to go back!

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!