"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Struggle

I am going to reveal something I have never before posted here: I am not "staight". I am bi- or homosexual. And I am a Jew.

The Jewish religion frowns upon homosexual acts. That is a fact with which I have struggled before. I had a good conversation with my father (a Rabbi) last year about the nature of God and religion, and that helped me accept myself the way I am.

Then today in my Hassidism class we started watching "Trembling Before God", a movie about homosexual individuals in the haredi (ultra-Orthodox Jewish) community. I was reminded of how much traditional Judaism frowns upon my future lifestyle. I felt my Judaism slipping through my fingers the way it had before.

Except this time I held on. I went and davened after school. I will daven tonight. I love my Judaism; it is far too precious to just drop.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know if I should cheer for you or weep for you for the road full of struggles that lie ahead of you. I've been walking this road for a while, and I can only repeat the same thing I've been telling the two young men, who we mentor: it gets better. Judaism is a great and colourful wonder, where you will find the place where you do fit in, where you are not judged for who you are.


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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!