"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Roller Coaster Ride

These past couple weeks, my idea of God has been chewed up and spat out. The God I knew would not have let such tremendous pain and suffering as happened to me last week happen to me. But God exists, and they happened.

So what is God?

I suggested that God let this happen, and my father suggested that perhaps "letting" and "not letting" are not in God's job description.

So what is God?

A book I am reading suggested that all spiritual journeys start in Egypt and end at Sinai. I prefer to compare it to a roller coaster ride. I am at that point just after you leave the ground, before you know what's ahead.

It is both terrifying and liberating.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!