"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012


I am miserable. I wish I were feeling something else, but I'm not, and I get to be honest here.

I am in a lot of pain,which is practically increasing by the day. I can't do anything about it until after finals are over, and I am scared to try. Today while shelving in the library where I work, I had to lean on the shelves to get on and off the footstool. My hands have been hurting pretty much whenever I tried to do anything all day. Even now, my face burns with pain.

I cannot let my employers know about the pain. This goes beyond fighting back etc. If my employers knew how much my job hurts, they wouldn't let me do that work. I would then only be useful to them as a desk person, which is what I do for roughly half my work hours. Thus, I would only be half as useful to them, and they might not choose to hire me anymore. We need the money too much for that.

Chronic pain makes finals week infinitely harder.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!