"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

What Does It Mean?

Here we are coming up on the end days of Passover, and I just realized I haven't done anything for it.  Oh, I went to two Seders and attended synagogue on the requisite days and gave up eating leavened bread and other forbidden foods, all things I do every year, but I have done nothing to make the holiday mine.

So I sat back to reflect.  What does Passover mean to me? And almost immediately I had my answer: Passover, more than any other holiday, is the time when we give it all up to God.  It's the week when we say, "Here God--I trust You--take my life and mold it."

To be fair, it was my father who really got me thinking along these lines.  He pointed out that, if one looks at the diet of a Jew on Passover, one would never think that a person could survive by eating that way.  And yet every year--for eight whole days--we make it work.

Passover commemorates the Exodus from Egypt, a time when the Hebrews gave everything up to God.  Sure they were leaving slavery for redemption, but they were also leaving everything they knew behind.  They ran out of Egypt at night (or so the story goes), with unbaked dough that had not even had time to rise fastened to their backs.  They gave their everything to God.

Each year we celebrate their faith that led to freedom.  We remember the courage it took to go out.  May I also have the courage to leave my Egypt behind (working on that in therapy) and go where God leads me.  May my literal, radical diet change become a meaningful change in my spiritual lifestyle to last the whole year long.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!