"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Thoughts on Tisha b'Av

  1. Tisha b'Av is fast approaching (yes, yes, pun intended).  The actual day is this Saturday, but because the only fast day that supersedes the Sabbath is the Day of Atonement, Tisha b'Av will be observed one day late, beginning Saturday night at sundown and continuing all through Sunday.
  2. I am nervous about being able to complete the fast.  Sh'va Asar b'Tammuz was very difficult for me this year, and that was one of the shorter fasts.  how much worse will Tisha b'Av be? No matter how hard it is, however, I will do it.  I will.
  3. As I mentioned in a previous entry, last year I attended services at the local Orthodox synagogue on Tisha b'Av eve.  It wasn't worth it; the unequal seating etc. made me angry.  This year I am going to go it alone.  Nobody else in my family observes Tisha b'Av, so I will truly be alone, but after living in dorms where nobody else was Jewish, this kind of solitude simply does not bother me.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!