"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

My Need for God

First of all, I must admit that God sometimes takes a back burner in my life. Between schoolwork, relationships with friends and family, etc. I may be praying but I don't feel a thing. Spirituality takes work, and I don't always feel that I have the energy.

Until I spend a week feeling guiltily self centered and two days feeling extremely anxious, that is.

That's when I go and read Jewish philosophy, and then I feel better. I need God in my life.

Sidenote: Last Summer I was transported a couple of times to a beautiful world "above" this one. There were no differences, only variety, so everything was equally good...beautiful. For my own safety after experiencing the "culture shock" of coming back, I stopped going or allowing my self to go. Still, I miss that world a lot. It's not really the sort of feeling I can discuss with just anyone, so I sort of just carry my longing inside me. Who wouldn't yearn to go back?


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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!