"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013


I really want to blog tonight, feeling the need to express myself, but I don't really have any big topic prepared, so I'm just going to...go!

First of all, more reflections on taharat mishpahah.  I think I am having such a hard time accepting my Rabbi's ruling that it does not apply in lesbian relationships because when I was growing up, in my home it was always "A Jewish adult does x," regardless of gender.  Both my mother and my father put on tallis and tefillin; when I as a child briefly got into lighting a Sabbath candle, my brothers did too.  It is therefore difficult for me to accept a ruling that a law only applies in heterosexual relationships because I--well, OK, almost--feel devalued as a woman.  I'm just going to say this straight up: although practically speaking it's a good thing these laws do not apply to me, a large part of me wishes that they would.

On another topic, I have decided that next year for Hannukkah I am getting my own good quality menorah, and I have picked out one that I like! (Yes I may be getting ahead of myself.)  It is by--you guessed it--Yair Emanuel.  The link is here: http://www.emanuel-judaica.com/store/hanukkah/menorahs/anodize_aluminum_hanukkah_menorah_frame_blue .  I am aware of the cost, and may talk my parents into getting it for me as a combined Hannukkah-birthday present.

Also, next year I hope to be living in the gender neutral special interest housing here at my school.  I will complete the application over winter break.  I am so excited to fully and finally be me.  Even if they won't let me light Sabbath or havdalah candles and I have to use electric ones, for that one year I think it will be worth it.  I will wear my rainbow, gay-pride kippah on move-in day.

I am in the midst of finals weeks, but I keep finishing everything early! For tomorrow, for example, I know that I am as studied as I can be or information will start leaving my head! Just wish me luck!


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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!