"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Sunday, September 27, 2015


I am in the closing moments before the beginning of Sukkot.  On this holiday we are commanded to eat our meals outside in booths and wave plant species in six directions.

We are also commanded to be happy.

Allow me to tell you why I am not happy.

I am not happy because I have nowhere to go for communal services with a prayer quorum of ten for this holiday: not tonight, not tomorrow, not the next day.  My options are hiking into the next town over or going to the local Chabad, and my pain syndrome will not allow the first, while my convictions on how Judaism should look will not allow the second.

On the one hand, at this moment I thank God for making me born a Rabbi's daughter so that I know how to do these kinds of things for myself, but there are parts of the Sukkot service that can only be done with that quorum of ten.

I will try to be content--no, more than that, I will try to be happy as we are commanded to be.

But I am not happy.


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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!