Sweet "Rheann" will be turning eleven this month. (I don't know the day.) This month will mark eleven years of languishing, unwanted, behind dark walls, with no source of comfort. And the recent ban on American adoptions from "Rheann's" home country only deepens my sorrow and the weight on my heart for her.
I wish that I could say pulling together and praying is enough, but it isn't. I wish I could say donating money is enough, but it isn't. I wish we could find a way to storm the desks of both our president and "Rheann's" country's president with letters demanding that the relevant decision be reversed. I wish...
In the end, we must do all of the above and then some. We must do what we can to save "Rheann" and the others. Maybe we can even find "Rheann" a home for her birthday.
Whichever day it is, happy birthday, sweetheart.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Friday, December 28, 2012
Sad News
This morning, the president of "Rheann's" country signed a law halting and preventing US adoptions from there. This effectively means that "Rheann", and all the others, have much less of a chance of finding a home. I don't know what to do. I am at a loss. If I could pray, I would, but my God connection is rather thin right now, so I can't. But those of you who can, please pray.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
What's Been Happening
For the past few weeks, I have been an inpatient in Dr. Sherry's AMPS (Amplified Musculoskeletal Pain Syndrome) treatment program. I have been getting stronger and my pain is going down. Even if it never gets any better than it is right now, my efforts the past few weeks will have been worth it; and the doctor etc. say that most people who continue to exercise after they leave are pain free one or two months out.
Honestly, it's been hard going through this program. The program is rather like boot camp in that it seems to be designed to break you down and then build you back up. Nearly everyone is reduced to a crying mess at one time or another, and some--like me--many times! Nonetheless, it works. This program really works. I and the others who come through are living proof of that.
Every day I accomplish something new. Today I stood upright for twenty minutes while holding a basket containing a five pound weight. When I leave, I will continue to accomplish new things. I just know it. Watch me go!
Honestly, it's been hard going through this program. The program is rather like boot camp in that it seems to be designed to break you down and then build you back up. Nearly everyone is reduced to a crying mess at one time or another, and some--like me--many times! Nonetheless, it works. This program really works. I and the others who come through are living proof of that.
Every day I accomplish something new. Today I stood upright for twenty minutes while holding a basket containing a five pound weight. When I leave, I will continue to accomplish new things. I just know it. Watch me go!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Apparently I do have it in me to post today, so I am posting.
I just got done looking at HIV+ children between the ages of 6 and 9 on the Reece's Rainbow website. My heart aches for every one of them.
For yes, despite all that is going on in Israel/Gaza, despite my constant worry and frequent breaks in my day to recite psalms, I still care about Reece's Rainbow. All children everywhere deserve safe and loving homes.
In terms of the Israel/Gaza conflict and my non-Jewish friends, some of them get it and some of them don't. "Charlotte" understands and is supportive completely; others not so much.
Regardless, I am scared for Israel. I am also scared to start the CHOP RND rehab program tomorrow. It will have good results, and I will most likely come out the other end feeling better than I've felt in a couple of years, but it is not going to be fun AT ALL.
If you are the type who prays, would you say a prayer for me, and one for Israel please? Thank you very much.
For yes, despite all that is going on in Israel/Gaza, despite my constant worry and frequent breaks in my day to recite psalms, I still care about Reece's Rainbow. All children everywhere deserve safe and loving homes.
In terms of the Israel/Gaza conflict and my non-Jewish friends, some of them get it and some of them don't. "Charlotte" understands and is supportive completely; others not so much.
Regardless, I am scared for Israel. I am also scared to start the CHOP RND rehab program tomorrow. It will have good results, and I will most likely come out the other end feeling better than I've felt in a couple of years, but it is not going to be fun AT ALL.
If you are the type who prays, would you say a prayer for me, and one for Israel please? Thank you very much.
Sick to my Stomach
I cannot blog today. I am literally sick to my stomach over the situation in Israel. No looking at Reece's Rainbow today. No updates on my emotions etc. Not even an update on the Israel situation--that one you can look up for yourself, anyway. Off to go read some psalms. Goodbye.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Overburdened
I hardly know where to begin tonight. Despite not wanting to go all political on this blog, I have to post a little bit about the situation in Israel and Gaza:
1. Air strikes continue back and forth.
2. Civilian casualties continue to occur on both sides.
3. My father thinks this could be a distraction for Iran's progress towards a nuclear warhead.
4. THE SEPHARDI CHIEF RABBI OF ISRAEL HAS CALLED FOR PSALM 83 TO BE ADDED TO DAILY PRAYERS.
Despite the situation in Israel, however, I cannot stop praying for "Rheann" and the other children listed on Reece's Rainbow. They continue to need our prayers as well; nothing about their situation or needs has changed just because Gaza and Israel are at war. Tonight I looked at HIV+ children ages 0-5. It's a shame these children are considered "disabled." HIV is a truly manageable condition; with the right medications, people with HIV can have a full lifespan. Additionally, HIV can only be spread via mixing of bodily fluids. Kissing, hugging, drinking from the same cup, and other types of casual family contact CANNOT spread HIV!
Also, before I forget: I have a spot in my doctor's RND rehab program! I start Monday morning, and I am SO excited. It is not so much that I am excited to go through the program itself--that will be grueling and not very pleasant--but that I am looking forward to coming out the other end, out into the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel."
1. Air strikes continue back and forth.
2. Civilian casualties continue to occur on both sides.
3. My father thinks this could be a distraction for Iran's progress towards a nuclear warhead.
4. THE SEPHARDI CHIEF RABBI OF ISRAEL HAS CALLED FOR PSALM 83 TO BE ADDED TO DAILY PRAYERS.
Despite the situation in Israel, however, I cannot stop praying for "Rheann" and the other children listed on Reece's Rainbow. They continue to need our prayers as well; nothing about their situation or needs has changed just because Gaza and Israel are at war. Tonight I looked at HIV+ children ages 0-5. It's a shame these children are considered "disabled." HIV is a truly manageable condition; with the right medications, people with HIV can have a full lifespan. Additionally, HIV can only be spread via mixing of bodily fluids. Kissing, hugging, drinking from the same cup, and other types of casual family contact CANNOT spread HIV!
Also, before I forget: I have a spot in my doctor's RND rehab program! I start Monday morning, and I am SO excited. It is not so much that I am excited to go through the program itself--that will be grueling and not very pleasant--but that I am looking forward to coming out the other end, out into the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel."
Friday, November 16, 2012
The Weight of the World
Do you ever feel as though the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders, and you cannot carry it? As if everyone, everywhere, needs your help and prayer, and you don't know where to begin, let alone how to continue, forget about how to stop?
I do. I am feeling that way today. There is so much pain, so much suffering in the world, and I just can't figure out what to do about it. Writing to God privately doesn't seem like enough, but maybe if I write a public letter to God, those of you who pray can join with me. Maybe that will come closer to being enough. Here I go:
Dear God,
I hardly know where to begin as I think of the tragedies affecting children the world over. Children are dying, God: from starvation and AIDS in Africa and from Qassam rockets and grads in Israel. No child should be robbed of his or her life, God. That simply isn't fair.
Among the dying children, God, are the precious lives languishing in mental institutions in Eastern Europe. I just read today about one region where most of the children die after three months in the institution. How can this be?! How can You let this happen?!
I know I have said I no longer conceive of You as a big pointing finger, God; You are more like a stream of water to me, and we humans must "place the rocks"--that is, use our own resources, skills, and opportunities--to "change the current" and help the world. Today, however, I wish I could still keep up that belief in a pointing finger: a pointing finger that would touch down and save the children of the world.
Dear God,
For Heaven's sake I'm doing what I can! Though my usual cause is Reece's Rainbow, and most of the time I only have spiritual energy for one cause, today I have energy for all the children of the world. Thank You for helping me to find that energy, and thank You for whomever reads this and joins me in prayer.
Doubting a Bit, But Still Loving You,
Your Girl
I do. I am feeling that way today. There is so much pain, so much suffering in the world, and I just can't figure out what to do about it. Writing to God privately doesn't seem like enough, but maybe if I write a public letter to God, those of you who pray can join with me. Maybe that will come closer to being enough. Here I go:
Dear God,
I hardly know where to begin as I think of the tragedies affecting children the world over. Children are dying, God: from starvation and AIDS in Africa and from Qassam rockets and grads in Israel. No child should be robbed of his or her life, God. That simply isn't fair.
Among the dying children, God, are the precious lives languishing in mental institutions in Eastern Europe. I just read today about one region where most of the children die after three months in the institution. How can this be?! How can You let this happen?!
I know I have said I no longer conceive of You as a big pointing finger, God; You are more like a stream of water to me, and we humans must "place the rocks"--that is, use our own resources, skills, and opportunities--to "change the current" and help the world. Today, however, I wish I could still keep up that belief in a pointing finger: a pointing finger that would touch down and save the children of the world.
Dear God,
For Heaven's sake I'm doing what I can! Though my usual cause is Reece's Rainbow, and most of the time I only have spiritual energy for one cause, today I have energy for all the children of the world. Thank You for helping me to find that energy, and thank You for whomever reads this and joins me in prayer.
Doubting a Bit, But Still Loving You,
Your Girl
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About Me
- free_to_dream
- I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!