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Friday, November 16, 2012

The Weight of the World

Do you ever feel as though the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders, and you cannot carry it? As if everyone, everywhere, needs your help and prayer, and you don't know where to begin, let alone how to continue, forget about how to stop?

I do. I am feeling that way today. There is so much pain, so much suffering in the world, and I just can't figure out what to do about it. Writing to God privately doesn't seem like enough, but maybe if I write a public letter to God, those of you who pray can join with me. Maybe that will come closer to being enough. Here I go:

Dear God,

I hardly know where to begin as I think of the tragedies affecting children the world over. Children are dying, God: from starvation and AIDS in Africa and from Qassam rockets and grads in Israel. No child should be robbed of his or her life, God. That simply isn't fair.

Among the dying children, God, are the precious lives languishing in mental institutions in Eastern Europe. I just read today about one region where most of the children die after three months in the institution. How can this be?! How can You let this happen?!

I know I have said I no longer conceive of You as a big pointing finger, God; You are more like a stream of water to me, and we humans must "place the rocks"--that is, use our own resources, skills, and opportunities--to "change the current" and help the world. Today, however, I wish I could still keep up that belief in a pointing finger: a pointing finger that would touch down and save the children of the world.

Dear God,

For Heaven's sake I'm doing what I can! Though my usual cause is Reece's Rainbow, and most of the time I only have spiritual energy for one cause, today I have energy for all the children of the world. Thank You for helping me to find that energy, and thank You for whomever reads this and joins me in prayer.

Doubting a Bit, But Still Loving You,
Your Girl

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!