Today I was scrolling through the "waiting child" listings on Reece's Rainbow, and my heart just broke as I realized fully that these were real children. I mean, of course I had always known that they were or I wouldn't be advocating so violently, but there's knowing factually and then there's knowing emotionally, if you know what I mean.
I'll never forget the picture that did it. I don't remember the little girl's name (it wouldn't have been her real name anyway), but the picture on the right showed a smiling little girl dressed in pink. The picture on the left showed a little person in a boy's shirt staring dully ahead. The usual Reece's Rainbow blurb about the child was written in between, and below it in big red letters was something to the effect of, "HAS PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN TRANSFERRED."
Break. My. Heart. I've seen that little girl before. Somebody else was advocating for her in memory of their own daughter (with whom they were matched via Reece's Rainbow) who died of complications of heart surgery. Anyway, I had scrolled past the picture of the little girl multiple times, one face in a hundred, and then...transfer...oh my.
I started tearing up as I scrolled through more listings, looking at the pictures and really "feeling" the subjects of them, looking at pictures of happy children marked "transferred" and trying to comprehend what they must look like now. I finally got off the site because I realized that although there were things I could do to help (such as writing this blog post), sitting and crying in front of my computer was not one of them.
[Note to self on my hunt for God: explain this!]
"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."
I believe in God.
I believe in God.
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- Apparently I do have it in me to post today, so I ...
- Sick to my Stomach
- The Weight of the World
- Across the World
- I Stand with Israel
- Older Boys
- Domino Status Flood
- More Reece's Rainbow
- On the Reece's Rainbow Front...
- My Heart is Breaking
- One more blog post for the night...
- A Stab at Making a Difference
- Visions, and a Friend
- A Revised View of God
- Reece's Rainbow Listings Are Real People
- The Emotions Behind the Scenes
- Despair and Tragedy
- My Quest
- On a Journey
- I no longer know You: An Open Letter
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- I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!