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Saturday, November 21, 2009

New Worlds

I had two amazing visions this Shabbat. They are too personal to post here so soon, but I will tell what I've noticed so far. Some of what I noticed, I was able to notice because of two books I've been reading: Lawrence Kushner's River of Light and Abraham Joshua Heschel's Quest for God.

My visions all seem to start with a handle or something to pull. If I don't pull the handle, the vision cannot continue.

If I could only forget, then I could remember and know--oh, everything!

When we leave this world, there is nowhere to go but God, for God is all.

Also, I was feeling slightly manic last night. I had been trying not to have a vision because I didn't want to mess up my mental health. But I couldn't keep it down any longer, so I went and had a vision, and after it was over I felt calmer, saner, healthier!

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!