"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

You know you are all too familiar with two worlds when you can say, "Getting close to God is not on my agenda for today; I have an exam tonight."

Seriously, though, frequently now my "channels" so to speak are gaping-wide open. If I took steps in that direction, I could probably be having visions etc. again. Certainly several days in a row now, while praying, I have felt that I could put out my hand, touch God, and play with Her energy.

Sometimes I wonder just how many "worlds" there are. I know there are at least two, this one and one other, but then the demons come up. Are they from the same world as the visions? Does putting them in yet a third world make both of the others too two-dimensional?

And are demons the creation of God, or are they something else again? I *think* I believe that God created everything, in every world.

My mother remarked last night that wonderful as some of this may be, she thinks she is glad she can't do it. Sometimes I, too, wish I couldn't do it. I know all of this is connected to my bipolar disorder. It is not a bipolar symptom. (For the record, hallucinations as a symptom of bipolar disorder are very rare.) It is not a direct cause of episodes. All we know is that I have both, and to be open to one seems to leave me open to the other as well.

Also, continue your prayers for "Erin" and for Reece's Rainbow.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!