The laws of Taharat Mishpahah do not apply to lesbian relationships! My Rabbi actually hunted down a real, live lesbian Rabbi to ask about this, so I trust her ruling.
How I feel about the ruling is another matter. On the one hand, it is much more practical to not have to worry about two people's impure periods (no pun intended), mikva (ritual bath) nights, etc. On the other hand, however, I feel somehow delegitimated, as if my marriage someday will not be a real marriage without mikva.
My father, who is also a Rabbi, says that a marriage is a marriage if there is huppah (wedding canopy) and kedushin (not sure what that is, sorry!), and everything else is extra. Good to know.
As I navigate the sticky waters of being an observant lesbian Jew, that is good to know.
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About Me
- free_to_dream
- I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!
Kidushin is the act of actual betrothal of the couple. One party (usually the man, but I want to be conscious of your sexuality), will put a plain ring onto the other party's finger. It has to have some sort of value, although not much if I remember correctly. This used to happen separate from the actual chuppah, but over time the kidushin was incorporated into the wedding ceremony, since there are so many ways that the kidushin could be considered invalid. It's in Mishnah Nashim if you want to learn all the halachot surrounding kidushin. It's actually really interesting - aside from the fact that kidushin is seen as "buying" the woman. But this is the 21st century, so it's really just ceremonial now.
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