"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Friday, July 18, 2014


I have so many things for which to be thankful, that I thought I would just go ahead and list them all.  It's a good exercise for me as well, because my chronic pain is spreading into my hands, and I could use to think about something else.  Tacky solution, I know, but here goes anyway:

  1. Family: I have the most wonderful mother and father, who provide for me financially and with love.  They take me on trips, help me move in and out of dorms, and listen to my problems and concerns, as well as my hobbies.  I also have two most excellent brothers who do a good job listening and caring as well.
  2. Religion: I am a Jew, and very proud of it.  When times are darkest, I can turn to my strong relationship with God that I have built up over the years, and that will get me through anything.  I write letters to God, as well as praying in a more conventional Jewish manner, and I do feel that God listens.
  3. Writing: Writing poetry provides solace for me like almost nothing else.  It is a true gift to be able to put one's words down on paper, and I know not everyone can do it.
  4. Sewing: Sewing is my other major hobby.  Primarily I make doll clothes, although I recently completed a quilt for a special teddy bear and eventually I plan to make a quilt for myself.  I have also made my own tallit/tallis (Jewish prayer shawl).
  5. Work Ethic: I have the native, inbred ability to work harder than almost anyone else I know, and that is vital and necessary if one wants to get through college in four years, which I do, while managing two chronic conditions, which I have (Reflex Neurovascular Dystrophy and bipolar disorder).  The only way to get through school on time if there are periods when one simply cannot work is to buckle down and work away when one can, including over summer vacation (as I have for the last two years) if necessary.  I'm not complaining at all here; in fact, the emphasis was supposed to be on how blessed I am to be able to work this hard!
  6. Friends: Let's face it, being friends with me is tough.  I like to say that I'm not necessarily needy in the classic sense of the term, but I do have genuine needs.  Being chronically ill is hard work; I need people to whom I can turn every time.  And...I have some.  Not every friendship has worked out; some people have gotten overwhelmed and dropped contact.  But I do have about five friends to whom I know I can come with anything, at any time (within reason), even if I came to them yesterday with the exact same thing.
There...I think that's enough for now.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!