"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Miscellaneous Updates

1. I changed my mind about taking my sewing on my "adventure" today.  I found that while I could not sew on the train, I could and did sew in the doctor's waiting room.  Therefore, I have turned a second corner and am close to turning a third.  I am being very careful to make my corners sharp and pointy; you may recall that a tallit--katan (literally "little", that we wear under our clothes), or gadol ( literally "big", that we wear around our shoulders while praying)--must have four distinct corners from which to hang the holy fringes.  I decided I am not going to post a photo with every update on the project--I want to save the photos for truly special milestones.

2. I had sushi for lunch today.  I found my doctor's appointment to be rather stressful, and my new-ish tradition after stressful doctor's appointments is to eat sushi.  What did I have? I had miso soup, an oshinko roll, and two yellowtail rolls.

3.  The doctor's appointment: This doctor's appointment finally brought home to me just how serious a case of RSD I really have.  I mean, I knew and know it intellectually all the time, but most of the time, I like to forget it emotionally, and I can do so quite successfully, if I do say so myself.  However, hearing phrases like "the severity of your symptoms" and watching how gentle and careful the doctor was while examining me changed all that.  What does she want to do about it? She wants to give me a ketamine infusion.  Ketamine is a powerful painkiller, given intravenously over the course of ten days, with a weekend to rest in between.  It does cause hallucinations (in most people, forget those who, like me, are separately psychiatrically ill); along with the ketamine, I would receive a drug of a type I can't spell to counteract that.  I obviously can't miss that much school, so we are looking to do this after I graduate.  That's in less than two months...I can make it.

4. Now it is time to get ready for the Sabbath in a whirlwind of activity, and then rest and delight in it.  I do have friends I only see on the Sabbath whom I will be updating on my medical status, and reading assignments I can't afford to skip, but I will rest and delight as much as possible.  Here's what my schedule looks like for the rest of the afternoon:

  • Put on spiritual music, not necessarily Jewish (Steven Curtis Chapman comes to mind) and clean my room.  That consists of putting books back on shelves, miscellaneous things back in drawers, making the bed, clearing off my desk, and putting out my battery-powered candles on their special cloth.
  • Give tzedakah.  Actually, I usually do this after I put on the music and before I clean.
  • Take a shower and dress up.  This week I am wearing a long black velour skirt, burgundy tights, and a pink blouse and jacket combo.  On Friday evening, I always wear a hat-size kippah; this week I will wear my embroidered, maroon velour.  I will also wear a ladies' tallit katan, perfume, and jewelry.
  • Call home.  I call home almost every day (I know, I know, most 22-year-olds don't...), but I especially make sure to before the Sabbath to wish everyone back home a "Shabbat Shalom" (literally "Peaceful Sabbath"; this is our conventional Sabbath greeting).
  • Go back to doing homework, if there's still time, until half an hour before services.  Today, that's 5 pm.
  • Set up all my electronics, turning on things I want on throughout the Sabbath and turning things off I want off throughout the Sabbath.
  • Leave for services and dinner.


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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!