"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Hard Day

(NOTE: Because I am merging three of my blogs into one [this one], making this a blog about my life in general, you will from now on see some posts here that are not about religion. Many will not be inspirational, either.)

Today was a really hard day physically. (For those who do not know, I have Reflex Neurovascular Dystrophy.) During physical therapy, I turned to my therapist and said, "I am trying really hard not to scream." And I was, because waves of pain were washing over my face, neck, and back and then not really leaving. My feet hurt like h*ll during the appointment and for hours afterward. I am not sure whether or not I slept through the night last night; if I did, that would be the first night of that sort since last Thursday. I am worn out, exhausted, enervated.

It's enough. I shouldn't have to struggle to find meaning.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!