"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Growth and Struggle

If I were a heterosexual man, I would be an Orthodox Jew.  I would have easy access to a community of committed Jews, both spiritually and practically.  I'd never have to explain myself in the Jewish world; I would have peers and a place.

I am not a heterosexual man.  I am a homosexual woman.  Whenever an Orthodox Jew asks me why I am not Orthodox, I usually start with, "I can read Torah as well as the next guy over, and you won't let me."

I believe that I was made the way I am, deliberately by God, so that I could struggle and grow.  I don't believe my soul was meant to have an easy life this time around.  I believe I was meant to learn life lessons that can only be learned by living life, and I can't wait to find out what they are.

Side note: I believe that this is the same reason Reece's Rainbow assigned me a child in Russia for whom to pray.  I do not believe that God moved the Russians or that Russia banning American adoptions was God's work.  I do not believe that Reece's Rainbow taking down its listings of Russian children so that it could focus its efforts on children more likely to get homes was God's work.  I do believe that God knew all this would happen and, knowing I could handle the challenge, gave me "Rheann."

Growth and struggle, always.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!