Challenges

I have been trying to find the right words for this post for a long time.  My current bipolar episode has been going on for weeks now, and that is a long time--a nice opportunity to come up with the "perfect" post.

I am beginning to feel trapped, yes, even imprisoned.  The bipolar symptoms are making me act in weird ways, when the "real" me knows that I'm being ridiculous and strange.  I cry easily, I laugh easily, I get scared easily: too easily.  It's hard to live this way.

Honestly, I would say that my biggest challenge right now is living with my roommates: figuring out how much to tell them without scaring them, how much to ask of them (I actually talk about it less with them than I do with other friends because my roommates are living it with me, so there's nothing to talk about), etc.  I try to be a contributing member of the household; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. 

Yesterday, for example, our landlord texted me saying he was coming by in less than an hour to do housing inspections.  "Julie" and I were the only two home, so I woke her up and we started cleaning like crazy.  I tried to help, but needed  her to tell me what to do because I could not think straight.

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO THINK STRAIGHT.