"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

The Penitnetial Season

Last night kicked off the "Penitential Season," as one of my prayer books calls it: The Hebrew month of Elul leading up to the New Year and Day of Atonement.  It is at this time of year that we as Jews really contemplate life: our deeds and our relationship with God, where we were this year and where we'd like to be next year, and the changes we must make in order to get there.

This is also the only time of year when I allow myself to play my favorite Youtube recording of U'n'taneh Tokef.  U'n'taneh Tokef is my favorite part of the Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) liturgy.  It talks about how we are nothing but dust and ashes, how we never really know our fate, and how on this day we all pass before God so God can decide what will happen to us--perhaps even how we will die--in the coming year.  No one is exempt from God's judgement; but repentance, prayer, and charity can mitigate the evil decree.

This part of the service is so special to me that I save my favorite recording of it for this time of year, but for these few weeks, it becomes the background music to my life.  I have already played it once last night and three or four times today.

Somewhere in my house is a book about the New Year and Yom Kippur called "This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared."  I want to read it at some point.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!