"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

I Am Brave, and I Am Strong, and I Am Going to Prove It.

Once again, I am faced with another Bipolar episode.  Over the years, I have almost gotten used to these; I cannot even count the number I have had since diagnosis in October of 2009.  This time around, however, I am doing a few things differently, having more successes, if you will.  Here they are:

  1. No one knows what's going on unless I want them to know it.  I am basically acting normal in public, so no one can tell from my behavior, and when I tell someone, I do it calmly and quietly.
  2. I am continuing to do school work.  I have to, because finals are coming up.  Just while in this episode, I have started making math flashcards and revised a paper.
  3. I still seek comfort from my friends and family, but I only need to talk to one or two people--not my whole contacts list--before I can move on with my day.  And if no one is available to talk, I do not get totally desperate; instead I find a way to comfort myself.
  4. Every day, I remind myself that life was not always like this, nor will it always be this way.  I used to feel well, and one day I will feel well again.
I think that's a pretty good list!

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!