Proudy Displaying Kippot, Part Six of Seven

Here you see my purple kippot; there are only four of them, but because purple is my favorite color, they are truly treasured.  The last one shown in this entry is my absolute favorite, out of all 57.  And yes, that number stands at 57; I did not snag one at today's Bat Mitzvah because today's Bat Mitzvah kippot were almost identical to one I already had (second one shown in the blue entry, in case anyone is interested), and a collection of 57 is quite large enough without duplicates.

This is the "weekday" (meaning not Friday/holiday evening hats) one that I consider prettiest.  It is hand painted silk by designer Yair Emanuel.  The background was supposed to be blue, but that's OK; I think it's prettier this way anyway, and it is a perfect match for my orange-and-purple, warm-weather synagogue outfit.  In point of fact, I wore that outfit, with this kippah, to synagogue today.

Number 57, my most recent, picked up at last week's Bat Mitzvah.  Nice to have a Bat Mitzvah freebie made of high quality material, and not in blue!

"Bat Mitzvah Beanie" picked up for me by my father, at the B'not Mitzvah of twin girls.  The other one from those two girls is my pink "Bat Mitzvah Beanie."

And my "Birds in Color" hand embroidered hat, designed by Yair Emanuel! This was my high school graduation present, and remains my favorite.

Proudly Displaying Kippot, Part Five of Seven

Today I show you my blue kippot.  I own more blue kippot than any other single color.  (Only my "business" stack has more, 24, and those are all different colors, united by size.  Blue is my most represented individual color.)  This is because blue seems to be the most popular color for freebies at B'nei Mitzvah.  ("B'nei Mitzvah" is the grammatically correct Hebrew plural for more than one Bar Mitzvah, or for a mixed gender grouping of more than one Bar and Bat Mitzvah.)  Most of my blue stack--I think all except three--were picked up at these types of events.

Two additional notes before I show you my collection of blue: number one, tomorrow evening when I show you my purples you will finally see the one I picked up at last week's Bat Mitzvah.  Tomorrow is another Bat Mitzvah, and I intend to pick up another freebie, #58 in my collection.  I will work out how best to show it to you when I actually know what it looks like.  And number two, I think I have picked out my kippot for my trip with JS at the end of the month.  I intend to wear my cactus print kippah (for the first time!) Friday the 31st.  I intend to wear the one JS bought me as a birthday gift (shown in this post) Saturday June 1st, and I think I will wear my penguin print kippah Sunday June 2nd.

Anyway.  See blue kippot below.

This is one I picked up at a Bat Mitzvah at my current synagogue.  Just counting my freebie kippot, I seem to have been to 12 B'nei Mitzvah there so far.

I actually picked up this one at a Bat Mitzvah hosted at my undergrad.  (Parents were alumni.)  This was only my second blue one (who could dream that stack would grow to 10?) so I was happy to have it.  It was handmade by the Bat Mitzvah family, and it has its own internal clip...which I've never figured out how to work, but it's there.

Freebie from a Bat Mitzvah at my current synagogue.  This is really a high end freebie.  It's hard to see in the picture, but it is crocheted; as discussed yesterday, crocheted kippot, in bulk, do not come cheap.

This is the one JS bought me for my birthday! I picked it out and he paid for it; I think he figured I was more likely to get what I wanted that way, rather than if he tried to pick it out and surprised me.  JS wants me to pick out a new one for him for his birthday (in six months).  He's been wearing the same one for 10 years, and it I falling apart.  Somehow he does not trust himself to shop for this himself.  After going back and forth with him for a few days, I think we have settled on Superman as the motif.

Picked up from a Bat Mitzvah at my local synagogue.  I had some kind of sickness that day and couldn't stay, so I saw none of the service (not even the beginning parts typically led by someone other than the Bat Mitzvah girl), but I wanted to keep it anyway.

This is an embroidered silk by Yair Emanuel.  It is the second of three purchased blue ones; and it was my first, and for a long time only, blue one.

Free from a Bat Mitzvah at my local synagogue, a fairly recent one though I don't remember the exact date (and yes, it is the style referred to in my family as the "Bat Mitzvah Beanie")...

Free from a Bar Mitzvah at my synagogue (so a "Bar Mitzvah Beanie")...

Free from a Bar Mitzvah at my synagogue.  (Another "Bar Mitzvah Beanie!")

A spectacular, hand embroidered hat by designer Yair Emanuel.  I wanted this one for literally years before I managed to actually acquire it.  This was part of my college graduation gift (along with my penguins kippah and my Sabbath/holiday candelabrum).  It is supposed to portray Jerusalem; while I don't like wearing Jerusalem, this hat is so stylized no one would know, so it's OK.  The truly fabulous part, which unfortunately you cannot see in this picture, is the rim; a series of buildings is embroidered all around, with none of them repeating.

Proudly Displaying Kippah, Part Four of Seven

You read that correctly: in this post, there is only one, single, solitary kippah.  This is because I am up to the green color group, a vastly underrepresented color in my collection.  There is only one green one that is not in the "business" stack, and you saw the "business" one (green and yellow, hand crocheted) in the first of this series of posts.

I picked this one up at a Bar Mitzvah at my current synagogue about two and a half years ago.  It feels weird to have been living an adult life long enough to have done ANYTHING two and a half years ago, but there you are.  This is a remarkably nice Bar Mitzvah kippah: crocheted kippot do not come cheap.  Moreover, this particular Bar Mitzvah had them in two color schemes.  There was the green and off-white you see here, and there was also a gorgeous blue and purple.  I honestly thought the blue and purple were prettier, but in terms of diversifying my collection, I needed the one shown here more.

Another note about kippot: JS and I are taking a mini-getaway-vacation together May 31-June 2.  (Yes, if he's comfortable with it and I remember my camera, there will be pictures.)  I am still debating which kippot to wear: I want the most important part of each outfit (and I do pick my kippot most carefully and consider them the most important thing I wear each day) to be as special as the trip itself.  Right now, I'm thinking of debuting my cactus kippah (ordering it Monday, should have it by the trip) on the first day, the Friday; and wearing the blue and pink floral one that JS bought me for my last birthday on the second day, the Saturday; still unsure which one for Sunday.  Possibly my bisexual pride one...

Proudly Displaying Kippot, Part Three of Seven

Today I will show you my kippot with red as the main color.  This is a very diverse stack in terms of style: the only unifying factor is color; otherwise, no two are alike.

This one is rather small and flimsy, but I still love it.  I bought it on Etsy; you can find almost anything--including many styles of handmade kippot--there.  There were several dragons available; I got the red one to complement undergrad university T-shirts.  I am planning to wear this one this Friday, with a gray skort to match the background, and a red top (undergrad university T-shirt, or plain polo shirt) to match the dragon itself, this Friday.

Another embroidered silk by designer Yair Emanuel.  I bought this one, even before the dragon, specifically to go with those red undergrad T-shirts.  It's quite useful, as I have three of those shirts and now also a plain red polo, plus a skirt I got specifically to go with them.

This is one of the four (five if you count the one I only wear to Yom Kippur evening services) that I wear on Sabbath and holiday evenings.  These are so big that I've seen them referred to as "hats" rather than kippot or yarmulkes by websites selling them.  This particular one was inherited form the family kippah drawer.

This is a machine embroidered silk--and therefore cheaper and less intricate than my hand embroidered ones (you'll see one of those with the blue stack and one with the purple stack)--by designer Yair Emanuel.  If I stick with my plan to wear gray and red on Friday, this is the one I'll be wearing Friday evening.

Proudly Displaying Kippot, Part Two of Seven

Today you will see my pink kippot; all except the "business" stack are organized by color.

This one was given to me by my ex boyfriend's parents; it is from a Bat Mitzvah they attended.  You can't really see it in the picture, but the print is actually very flashy.  That flashy print is the reason why this is not a "business" kippah, even though it is the right size.

This is another one made for me by my first friend in the city.  (You saw the other one yesterday.)  This one was a straight-up gift, and I picked out the colors while keeping him company one Sunday in the art gallery he ran.

This one is my favorite style: medium sized, embroidered silk by designer Yair Emanuel.  Yair Emanuel is my favorite Judaica designer, and many of his pieces grace my home.

Same as above: medium sized, embroidered silk by designer Yair Emanuel.  I love the ornate print of embroidery on this one, bands of different shapes.  The website calls it "geometric shapes magenta," though I find the background to be more a burgundy.

My family refers to this style--cheap satin--as a "Bat Mitzvah Beanie."  I will say it was made cheaply to be affordable in bulk for the celebration (many Jews, at their life cycle events, provide these for whomever wants, which is usually all the men and me), however I actually like these as they are easy to match to outfits, and sometimes that's convenient.

Proudly Displaying Kippot, Part One of Seven

I know I have done this before, but it was a while ago; several kippot (not sure how many) have been added to the collection since.  So each day, until every single kippah is photographed and displayed, I am showing photos from one stack.  Shown here are the "business" ones, so called because I consider them small enough to wear to work in non-Jewish environments.  There are 24 of them.  Enjoy!

The following eight were all crocheted by a then-very-dear friend, as Hannukah presents a couple years ago.  She made each from a different pattern!  They are much my smallest, even smaller than I like for business; we had a miscommunication about sizing.  See all eight below:

This is probably my most important kippah out of all 57.  It represents bisexual pride.  Recently, I have been proud to wear it, showing the world how confident I am in all the aspects that make me, me.

And this is  my gay pride kippah, made by the same person as the one above.  I bought both of these on Etsy.

This one comes from a shop, Kippah Man, on Ben Yehuda Street in Jerusalem.  Ben Yehuda Street is a major tourist shopping street, and I have fond memories of being there with my class in 2009.

This is the first one I can remember receiving.  I got it at age eight; it was a gift from my father.  He brought it home from a Rabbinical Assembly Convention.

Second one I can remember receiving, also a gift from my father from a Rabbinical Assembly Convention.  This time, I was 10.

My first friend in the city made this one for me.  It was a swap: I gave him one of my embroidered silk ones to celebrate his conversion to Judaism (yes, hard to part with, I love my embroidered silk ones, but that was part of the point), and he made me this one in exchange.

Now come the suede ones.  First, one from my own Bat Mitzvah.  (You'll see multiple freebies from such events sprinkled throughout my collection.)  I had them in two colors, and...

...Here's the other one!

From a college roommate's (I believe on this blog I have called her "Emily") wedding.  They messed up her maiden name on the stamp inside.

This is from my high school graduation.  I rarely wear it, as I consider it my most boring option out of all 57, but I am glad to have it as a keepsake nonetheless.

Bar Mitzvah freebie from my current synagogue.

Bar Mitzvah freebie from my current synagogue.

Bat Mitzvah freebie from my current synagogue, picked up just a few weeks ago.

PENGUINS! My mother calls me her little penguin, so I like to collect penguin memorabilia.  This kippah was part of my three-part (the others being a much fancier kippah, and my candelabrum) college graduation gift.  It's not the highest quality kippah out there, but it is fairly rugged and holds up well; the price was right; and the print is fun, so I consider it a winner.

This one was included with my Bat Mitzvah prayer shawl.  When I first started wearing a kippah full time, this was one of only two that I owned; I therefore wore it a lot, and it dramatically faded.  The background used to be purple.

And, finally, another Bar Mitzvah freebie from my current synagogue.

Earth-Shattering

It's taken me some time to puzzle out my scrambled thoughts, regarding something I found out Thursday evening:

Yes, I can get my Masters in Early Childhood.

No (unless I misunderstood them), not with teaching certification.

I'm frankly not even sure I should be teaching anyway.  I am fantastic at enjoying and influencing children one-on-one.  I have a problem with groups, issues shifting attention and maintaining focus that my previous psychiatrist once said have to do with being bipolar.  (And yes, these are effects that are always there, not just when the bipolar individual is in an episode.)  People who observed me teaching my lesson plans (once last semester, once this semester) saw that.  I can't even handle a group of three to five children, and public school classes have five times that many.

I don't quite know, at this moment, what I'm going to do with my life.  I have a meeting with my advisor on Tuesday; we're supposed to talk about my thesis but I will throw in requests for career advice too.  She holds a PhD in Early Childhood (started the program at my grad school), which is one avenue I am currently considering.  Even though I am good one-on-one with children, no careers of that sort feel interesting or compelling right now.  Not interested in child therapy, social work, or being a para professional.

It's hard to start over at age 26.  26 is not "old-old," but it is old enough that starting over is tricky.  For the last three years, I have wanted to be a teacher.  I fought for teaching; I dreamed of teaching.  Now it isn't going to happen.

One consolation is that now I don't have to put together an edTPA.  The edTPA is a portfolio that goes to the state government, basically saying, "Hey, look, I can teach."  It contains things like lesson plans and videos.  It is truly vast, and teacher candidates put it together while student teaching.  Keep in mind that student teaching is full days in schools, Monday to Friday; that there are class sessions in the evening as well; and that I desperately need nine hours of sleep a night, and really function better with 10.  I was beginning to be worried about where and how and when I would work on my edTPA.

Another small consolation is that I will be getting a new yarmulke as a "consolation prize."  I found one by the same makers of my penguins one that has a pint of green cacti.  I love cacti; I want to own one someday.  It is not an expensive yarmulke (12 dollars); the quality is not great, but the price is right, and my penguins one is actually quite rugged for the quality.  When the new one comes, I will photograph and blog both it and the one I picked up at a Bat Mitzvah yesterday (dark purple canvas; finally, NOT blue and NOT suede or satin!).

So that is my earth-shattering news.  I truly do feel shattered, but I have no doubt I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and carry on.  It just won't be in the way I planned.