"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Questioning God

It is time to question God. Again.

Not God's existence: oh no. I know that God exists.

But seriously, God, this kind of pain?! I know that it will most likely last only a few weeks, but right now "a few weeks" feels like eons of eternity. I know I have to continue to treadmill, so I do, but then I find myself rationing my movements the rest of the day to make up for it, to the point of forgoing afternoon and sometimes evening prayers because I can't stand the thought of standing that long! (Pun intended ;) ) I don't understand why God would give me a condition that interferes with our relationship with each other, unless it is to push me to surpass this obstacle and deepen our relationship still more.

There is something to that last theory, actually. Perhaps suffering leads to growth, and from growth arise truth and beauty. If that is the case, I pray that this will go away at the right time, after my relationship with God has grown enough and before I go crazy! LOL

School is starting in five days!

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!