"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Miscellaneous Musings

Yes, a second post today.  Trying to kill time till I call my mother (totally ready for the Sabbath), and I have things to say.

There is an unintended consequence to my not being in pain.  For a very long time, I used pain as the buffer between me and God.  In other words, if I started getting too close to God, I caused myself pain (usually by scrunching my toes), and that pulled me back.  Now, I physically cannot do that.  I cannot protect myself from close spiritual interactions of the supernatural kind...close spiritual interactions of the supernatural kind are not safe for my mental health.  My farther suggested I break off in the middle of stuff, and tell God I would love to get closer but it isn't safe, and then finish stuff...we'll have to see if that works.

One of the Rabbi's sons is going to attempt to start a fight with me over my fringes tonight, I just know it.  He's an angry person (doesn't agree with his parents' religious views, visibly fights them), and he will start a fight with just about anybody who will fight him.  However, I've got one up on him.  I know I'm coming in fringes, and I know how he will react.  He doesn't know I'm coming in fringes.  Therefore, I simply do not have to fight him.  Period, end of story.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!