"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

So Proud!

I am so proud of myself.  You must, must, must read this story.  (I almost said "hear," but this is a blog, so "read" is the appropriate verb.)

Today I was out doing my grocery shopping, and I passed a man out on the street asking for spare change.  This has become a common sight in my life since I moved to New York, and I must admit that sometimes I give and sometimes I don't.  Today, I didn't, because I don't have a lot of spare change this week and I want to save it to put in my box tomorrow.

I'm wearing a black velvet kippah today (not the ultra-Orthodox one; the other one, from my brother's Bar Mitzvah), not one that screams "Jew" from a mile away.  However, as I passed close to this man, he noticed it, and loudly said something derogatory about Jews.  I don't know what it was because I only caught "...JEW," but I did catch the voice tone, and it wasn't nice.

I was really, really tempted to just keep walking.  I didn't think I had the courage to face him down and stand up to him.

Here's the thing, though: when I first started wearing a kippah all the time, publicly, I knew I was choosing to represent my people: all the time, publicly.  I knew I would have moments like this, and when you're representing, well, you're representing.

So I turned back around, marched back to where the man could see me, and, just like this, said, "DON'T.  INSULT.  MY PEOPLE."  Then I spun back around, and continued on my way to the store.

And on my way home, when I passed him again? He didn't have a thing to say to me.  Ha!

So very proud of myself.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!