"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Something I've Wanted for my Entire (Jewish) Adult Life

FIRST: I went to a new social group tonight.  It was a horribly disappointing experience, but at least I tried.  I might or might not write more about it later (like tomorrow), after the swirling feelings have died down.  Tonight I need to soothe myself, then go to bed.

SECOND: I thought about several titles for this post, but this one conveys the magnitude of the event, so I went with it even though it is a bit wordy.

NOW: For my entire adult Jewish life (so starting from Bat Mitzvah)--and even before, in the months leading up to my Bat Mitzvah, as I thought about the equipment an adult Jew needs--I knew I wanted a pink tefillin bag.  I wanted my tefillin wearing to have feminist flair as does all the rest of my Jewish life, but pink tefillin bags simply do not exist on the commercial market; apparently not enough women wear tefillin.  I got a maroon bag, the next best thing.

It wasn't good enough; for almost twelve years now, I have wanted that pink bag.  I finally decided to make one.

Gathering materials was easy.  I had just enough of a pink-and-white check for the bag; it closes at the top with a pink circle button.  (Tefillin bags usually zip closed; I don't know how to do zippers.)  A tefillin bag is usually richly, ornately embroidered.  I knew I could not do anything like what is usually seen, but I had to decorate my new bag somehow.  By luck--or the grace of God, depending whom you ask--I had narrow, bright pink ribbon.  I made a large Jewish star on the front of my bag, using strips of this ribbon.

I absolutely love the result.  Once again, I have used my very best craft skills to make something I will be proud to use.  It does not get much better than that.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!