God's Plan (Not Mine)

I have been enjoying rereading old entries on this blog.  As I move backwards through the years, one contrast between Younger Me and Current Me really stands out: Younger Me thought I knew God's plans for my life.  As of 2014 (I would have been 21 years old), I thought I knew that I would one day become a Rabbi--through the Jewish Theological Seminary (JTS), no less--and that I would adopt a little girl with Down Syndrome, hopefully from Eastern Europe.

Current Me, 2018, 25 year old me, understands that I really do not know God's plans at all! Not only am I not a student at JTS, I am not even on track to become a Rabbi at all.  I have also decided--for myself or with God's help; it's kind of hard to tell sometimes--that it is better for everyone if I never have children of my own.  I am making up for this by planning a career as an early childhood educator.

You know what? It honestly feels freeing to know that I cannot predict the future.  If my 2014 plans have been abandoned by 2018, perhaps my 2018 plans will be abandoned by 2222.  You would think knowing that I know nothing about my future would cause panic, but actually, I find it relaxing.

I don't need to know what my life will look like four years from now to know that I am on the best path I can make out in order to get there.  I plan to have the best future I can have, but I don't need to know what that looks like yet.