"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) Beast

My chronic pain syndrome, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (henceforth referred to as RSD) is back again, full force.  Right now the areas bothering me the most are my hands and my right eyelid, but I can hurt anywhere, any time, for any reason or for no reason at all.

I understand why my hands are hurting.  I wrote a long letter to God this morning (writing always bothers me, even when I'm feeling "good"), and I've been typing a lot (graduate school application for Hunter College, and now this entry on my blog).  However, the eyelid thing is beyond me, since I'm not really "using" that body part.  Pain in my eyelids was the last symptom I developed before my big Ketamine treatment in January, and it was the first symptom to go away once I started the treatment...and now it's back.

I don't know if you, my random reader, can fully appreciate how hard it is to live with chronic pain.  My pain cuts into everything I do; even when I'm acting happy, even when I'm talking about something else, it's there, I'm hurting, and life is difficult.

The good news is that I don't have to hold on too much longer; I'm scheduled for a Ketamine booster March 7th-8th.  That's only 11 days away.  Also, as I mentioned last night, my dearest friend "Charlotte" is coming this weekend.  That's good news too.  I would like to "un-code name" her, but I would never do that to someone without asking their permission, and she wasn't picking up her phone last night.  I do plan to take pictures of our visit, so you all can "meet" her afterwards.

Also also, I finished the whole entire Hebrew Bible last night.  Just thought I'd mention it.  In approximately a year and a half (it should have taken much less time, but there were months when I didn't read at all) I read all the way from Genesis 1 through 2 Chronicles 36.  I did it in English, but I still think it's impressive.

Now, enough about me.  This is "CHARLES," aging out in JUNE, diagnosed with congenital ichthyosis, a skin condition.  He also is from my "Jacob's" birth country.

Charles (1)


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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!