"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Turning to God

These days, I literally have quadruple vision: I see double, both up-and-down and side-to-side.  If I close my left eye--specifically the left--and squint, the side-to-side stays the same, but the up-and-down compresses just the tiniest bit.  In this position, and in this position only, I can do things such as read a book I have never read before, or walk down the street without bumping into people.

School starts in a week and a bit, and I was really hoping to fix this before that.  I saw an opthalmologist yesterday; not only can he not fix it, he doesn't even know what it is.  So now I have an appointment with a neuro-opthalmologist...for October 26th, because that was the soonest they could get me in.  That means I'll be doing a good two months of school--and the major Fall Jewish holidays--like this.

As usual when I am scared, I have been writing to God.  This time, I am so scared that we are simplifying the titles.  God gets to be "my Mother" or "my Father," alternating gender with each letter.  I pray for a miracle: vision restored to single; really, however, I am just hoping to learn to manage this gracefully.

So help me, God.

EDITED TO ADD: Side Note: When my graduation gift arrives, I plan to start using the candelabrum at earliest opportunity (can't really wait to start using a full-size thing for my candles).  The kippah, however, I plan to save for second night Rosh Hashanah, so I have something new to make the blessing on.  We say the blessing on a new day both nights of the holiday; there's an Orthodox custom to have a tangible something new, such as a new item of clothing or a food that hasn't been eaten in a certain amount of time (I forget how long) to make the blessing on, on the second night.  I think it's a beautiful tradition; I started keeping it last year by saving my new winter dress skirt (caramel suede) that I had just bought, and wearing it that night.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for commenting on my blog! Please no hate speech or inappropriate language. Please remember to be polite. Thank you!


Blog Archive

About Me

My photo
I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!