"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Sweetly Bitter Adaptation

Over my years of dealing with various disabling medical conditions (Bipolar Disorder and RSD, mainly), I have come to learn something: usually, adaptation is better than fighting.

I have the perfect example.

I try to do ritual prayers every day, but God's and my main, direct form of communication is the letters I write.  I can come to God with any issue, and sometimes, just often enough that I know it is real, I get an answer back.

For months now, or at the very least weeks, I hadn't been writing.  This was because I couldn't hold a pen and write long enough to fill a page, and I felt as though I couldn't write "enough of" a letter.

Then it occurred to me: any communication is better than no communication at all, so now I write half-page letters.

Perfect solution? No.  Do I long to be able to write "enough?" Yes.  But I adapted to the pain rather than fighting it, and came out further ahead.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!