"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Thursday, July 5, 2012


I am definitely in the thick of an episode. We know why; we know what caused it (experimenting with lowering a certain medication). Now we just have to get me out of it.

Today was hard. I spent the first third or so feeling so depressed I just wanted to go back to bed, much of the rest feeling so overstimulated I was trying to muffle the sound of cards as I played solitaire, and am now tentatively feeling all right because I am listening to music and surfing the internet. If I tried to go "live life" right now, I would not feel OK.

It's funny, but I was just reading a post over at Large Families on Purpose (largefamiliesonpurpose.com) about choosing thankfulness. So. Here we go: a "thankful-while-bipolar" list.

While in this episode, I am thankful that:

1. It's happening while I have no obligations, educational or otherwise.

2. I live with good friends who are loving, supportive, and forgiving.

3. I have a competent psychiatrist.

That, sadly, is all I can think of right now.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!