"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

An Update

After a very difficult Sabbath spent at my friend "Julie's" house with her five younger siblings (difficult due to my bipolar disorder, NOT due to her or her family), I think I have turned the corner and am starting to feel better. The train ride back from "Julie's" house left me somewhat overstimulated such that finding the words for this post is a little bit difficult, but it was not nearly as overstimulating as the trip to her house on Friday. I am overstimulated enough that I will go into mild "stimulation management" mode (soft music; coloring, browsing the internet or playing solitaire), but not so much that I need major "stimulation management" mode (weighted blanket; squishy pillow; solitaire at best, more likely pacing back and forth or curled up whimpering because the world is going too fast). I am not feeling at all depressed, and I am drop-dead exhausted from yesterday's mania, which I think is a good sign because it means I am coming off it. I think the end of this episode *may* be in sight. Such a blessing!

Also, today is the seventeenth of the Hebrew month of Tamuz, the day when the Babylonians breached the walls of Jerusalem during their conquering thereof. We Jews remember/memorialize this sad day by fasting sun up to sundown. Six hours to go.

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!