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"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

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Sunday, July 29, 2012

Live, Evil God

I believe that every aspect of God is new, important, and true. To me this means that God is what we perceive God to be. Therefore, if one feels that God is an evil little boy who sets things on fire for fun (see my previous post), then God is an evil little boy who sets things on fire for fun, if only for that moment.

I experienced an evil God last night, one who cared to punish His people seemingly without mercy, one who served to make life miserable for sinners, one who did not forgive. I went to bed last night truly scared of God, so frightened I could barely close my eyes.

And yet, I feel privileged to have been able to perceive God that way and have feelings about it. In Judaism, we are taught that the Torah has 70 faces. I believe God has at least as many per person, just waiting to be uncovered.

Last night I uncovered one.




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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!