"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is."

I believe in God.

Friday, March 4, 2016

"Fixed" the "Problem" and Katherine's Visit

First of all, I seem to have "fixed" my relationship with God.  I no longer feel waves of mysticism washing over me every time I pray or write a letter; we are keeping our distance from each other.  That being said, I have found THE name for God that helps me connect better than any other.  It works so well that I am not comfortable sharing it publicly (I haven't even shared it with Katherine or my mother, the two people to whom I tell most everything!), but I will say that it is a traditional Hebrew title, and it is strongly masculine.  That last part surprises me, because until I started using this name and discovered its power, I genuinely believed I thought of God as manifesting as feminine in my life.  I'm OK with God "being" masculine for a while (as in for however long this title holds its power), for I know God is really every gender at the same time.  Still, I find it surprising.

Second of all, in majorly all likelihood, Katherine is coming to visit this weekend! She couldn't come last weekend, as originally planned, because she had a headache that she thought would turn into a migraine if she rode on the train.  Therefore, we bumped her visit to this weekend instead.  She has been feeling better, so it should work out.

Due to problems with chronic pain (I am undergoing another Ketamine treatment March 7th-8th, and would very much covet your prayers), I still can't get to synagogue to see the friend I have made there and anybody else, so Katherine's visit will be a welcome chance to socialize.  We are going to make African Pineapple Peanut Stew (my favorite dish; she's never had it) tomorrow night, and Sunday we are going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, out to lunch (but not at the museum cafe because everything there is overpriced, and also because I am an observant Jew and there are very few options for me there), and then she is taking me for bubble tea, as per our celebrating-my-birthday tradition.  I have a camera, I will take pictures, and most likely the pictures will end up on this blog...I can't wait.

Now.  Here is a Reece's Rainbow aging-out girl.  I am privileged to introduce "KIERSTEN," aging out in APRIL.  Reece's Rainbow cautions that "her needs are quite unknown."  (Note she does not have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.)  This is her old picture because I couldn't get her new one to copy/paste, but please go to reecesrainbow.org and look her up to see a beautiful, more recent image!

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I am a bipolar, Jewish young adult (had my Hebrew birthday, the one I count, and turned 23 this past January) who also suffers from Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. I love life and I live for my best friends: they are my purpose and my reason for trying so hard. I remain passionately devoted to those I love; I will not let my disorders make me totally self-centered. I like to read, write, and sew. My Rabbinical school plans did not work out, and I am now hoping to go into the field of Early Childhood Education. Please note: I am currently maintaining only Carried in His Hands. Enjoy!